Charlotte
Mason in Modern English
Charlotte
Mason's ideas are too important not to be
understood and implemented in the 21st century, but her Victorian style
of writing sometimes prevents parents from attempting to read her
books. This is an imperfect
attempt to make Charlotte's words accessible to
modern parents. You may read
these, print them out, share them freely--but they are copyrighted to
me, so please don't post or publish them without asking.
~L. N. Laurio
pg 135
Part IV. Some Habits
Of Mind - Some Moral Habits
Education
Follows Natural Scientific Rules
I'll
say it again: I presume to write about home education, but I yield more
authority to mothers because they know the individuality of their own
children. They know their children and have a rapport with them that a
stranger never can. Yet there is a science to education that is
separate from a mother's intuition. Understanding this natural law,
which comes from God, can allow anyone to raise a child successfully,
with or without maternal instincts. Obeying God's laws, including the
natural laws involving education, will bring reward.
Teaching
Good Habits Makes Life Easier
One
of these natural laws is the force of habit. Scientific evidence
showing that new brain tissue is grown according to what has been
needed proves what people already knew from experience. It's good to
know that one is never too old to learn a new habit, although it may
take longer for older people. It's also helpful to realize how easily
any of us can slip into bad habits. But the nicest thing
pg 136
about habit is that it enables us to have what everyone wants: an
easier life. We don't mind a little extra work now if we know that it
will make our lives easier later. And habit promises to make our lives
easier. The mother who takes the time to teach her children good habits
makes her days smoother and easier, but the mother who allows bad
habits to develop in her children has a tiresome life with constant
conflicts and stress with her children. All day she has to nag at her
children to 'do this!' or 'don't do that!' and her children do the
exact opposite of what she asks. 'But,' you ask, 'if habit is so
helpful, there are tons of habits to be taught. It's exhausting just to
think of all the habits the poor mother will have to teach! When will
she have time to just enjoy her children?'
Teaching
Habits Can Become Habit-forming
Once
again, we are reminded of the clock who was overwhelmed anticipating
how many 'ticks' were to be ticked in his future. But only the next
tick needs to be thought about, and he will always be given one second
long enough to tick that tick. In the same way, the mother only needs
to concern herself with the one habit she's working on. She will also
need to keep an alert guard over the habits already corrected, but
that's easy and no trouble at all. If the thought of all those habits
that still lay ahead are too much to think about, she should make a
list of just a few habits to work on, maybe twenty. A child who grows
up with twenty good habits is already starting life on the right foot.
The mother who knows herself well enough to doubt whether she can
persist in habit training can take courage in knowing that even the act
of training habits can become a habit! She should also remember that
the most enduring
pg 137
habits are the ones she hasn't worked to instill--the ones her children
absorb unconsciously just by observing how life is at home in words,
actions, feelings and opinions.
Habits to be
Learned at Home
We
have already discussed some physical habits that children pick up
without anyone deliberately instilling them--order, routine, neatness.
But there are habits of atmosphere that the child also picks up from
his home life. These are gentleness, courtesy to others, sincere
directness, respect for others. They are taught by example.
I. The Habit of Attention
For now, let's focus on habits that need some direct training.
We'll start with the habit of focusing the attention, since the child's
intelligence is a direct result of how well he can do this. To help
understand why this habit is so important, consider a couple of rules
about how the thought process works. First, think about how a trained
professional works, such as a doctor or lawyer or teacher. He can
listen to a long story, sift through the unnecessary stuff to find the
bare facts, see the significance of each important aspect and he knows
exactly what to ask to fill in any missing information. Now compare
this to an uneducated person--his eye wanders and his replies don't
address the heart of the matter. It's easy to see that a person's
ability to pay attention is a good assessment of their competence.
pg 138
A
Mind at the Mercy of Making its Own Associations
Let's
consider the nature of attention and what it does. The mind is never
idle unless the person is in a coma. Ideas are constantly flitting in
and out of the brain, all day, all evening, while walking around, even
in dreams during sleep, and even during periods of madness. But we make
a mistake if we assume that we are the authors of our own thoughts, or
that we can even control what we think about. The best we can do is,
when we're conscious of it, to latch onto our thoughts and give them
some direction. If we think about the way dreams flit from one
impression to the next, we can get an idea of how ideas follow ideas.
We see the same dance of thoughts in the mutterings of a delirious
person, or the fanciful rambling of an insane person, or the trivial
chatter of a little child, or the wandering babble of old men. That's
how thoughts flitter through the mind when they're left to themselves.
Let's say you want to explain to a child how glass is made and what
it's used for, so you try to provoke his curiosity about glass. But the
child has his own ideas. He wonders about Cinderella's glass slipper,
then he tells you about his
godmother, who gave him a boat for a present, then about his Uncle
Harold who took a cruise, then he wonders why you don't wear bifocals, leaving
you to presume that Uncle Harold must wear them himself. This may seem
like a nonsense trail of ideas, but they aren't as illogical as they
seem. They follow a logical pattern of association. One idea recalls
some other related idea (however distantly related it may be!) So the
child's mind goes from glass to slipper to Cinderella to godmother to
gift to boat to Uncle Harold to bifocals. This kind of sequence of
association can be a useful servant, but a bad master. It can be used
to help remember things that happened in the past or facts
pg 139
in the present, as people do when they use memory tricks to remember
names. But to be at the mercy of those associations, to have no power
to choose to turn it off and think what we want when we want, but only
to be able to think about whatever thought pops into our head, makes us
totally useless.
Wandering
Attention
By putting
forth some concerted effort, we should be able to focus our thoughts.
However, self-compelling effort is achieved with maturity. Children
don't have maturity, they only have the nature they were born with.
How, then, is the child supposed to keep his mind on geography when it
wants to wander to his spinning top, or how is he supposed to keep his
mind on French verbs when it wants to think about doll furniture? And
this is the reason lessons are so tedious: children are always thinking
of something other than their lessons. They are at the mercy of a
thousand fancies that flit through their brains, every one with some
association to the one before it. One little girl said to her
governess, 'Oh, Miss Smith, there are so many more interesting things
to think about than lessons!'
What's so bad about that? For one, it wastes the children's time. Also,
it forms in them a drifting manner of thinking, which becomes a
careless mind habit that lessens their ability to keep their attention
where they want it.
The
Habit of Attention Should Be Learned in Infancy
It isn't the child's will that's the
problem. It's that he hasn't learned the proper habit. This habit
should be cultivated when the child is an infant. A baby has wonderful
powers of observation, but no ability to focus his attention. He wants
a toy, but a minute after he has it, it drops listlessly from his hand
when his wandering eye spots some new item of interest. But even at
this stage, it's not too early to begin encouraging the habit of
attention. The discarded toy should be picked up and the mother should
say, 'Pretty!' and show interest to get the baby's attention.
pg 140
By this, she can keep his eyes fixed on one object for a few minutes.
This is the baby's first lesson in paying attention. Older toddlers are
eager to see and touch everything. But if you watch, you'll notice that
they dart from one thing to another, having less purpose than a
butterfly flitting amongst the flowers. They don't stick with any one
thing long enough to get a really good impression of it. It's the
mother's job to make sure her child doesn't flit from this to that, but
that he looks long enough at a thing to really get acquainted with it.
One minute little Margaret is intently staring at a daisy she has
picked. A second later, a pebble or buttercup has caught her attention
and she's ready to discard the daisy. But her mother steps in. She
shows Margaret that the daisy looks like a bright yellow eye with white
eyelashes around it. She tells her that all day long, the daisy lies in
the grass and looks up at the bright sun, never blinking as Margaret
would do. It's called a daisy because it's like a 'day's eye,' always
looking at the sun, which makes the day. And she asks Margaret what she
thinks the daisy does at night when the sun is not out. It does just
what boys and girls do--it shuts up its one eye with its white lashes
tipped with pink and goes to sleep until the sun comes back out in the
morning. Now the daisy has reclaimed Margaret's interest. She stares at
it with big eyes while her mother speaks. Then she cuddles it to her
breast and gives it a soft little kiss. So, mothers will come up with
all kinds of ways to add interest to every object in their children's
world.
pg 141
Real
Things are Interesting, but Abstract Words May Not Hold Attention
But the real conflict begins with school lessons.
Even a child who has been trained to hold his attention on things has a hard time holding his
attention on words. This is a
turning point in a child's life, and his mother needs tact and
vigilance. First of all, never allow a child to dawdle over his
copywork or math. Before his mind starts to wander, put his schoolwork
away. Let him do another lesson that's totally different from the other
one. Go back to the first lesson later, when his mind is fresh. If his
mother or teacher has been careless enough that his attention has been
allowed to drift during lesson time, she must follow through. Using her
wits to make the lesson bright and pleasant, she must draw the child's
mind back so that he finishes the lesson. [Note that the child is not to be
reprimanded or punished.]
Lessons
Should be Interesting and Appealing
The
child's teacher should understand the principles of education. She
should know which subjects are suited for each age group, and how to
make those subjects enjoyable. She should know how to vary the lessons
so that the child's mind can rest after each kind of mental activity by
doing something totally different. She should encourage him by making
use of the child's desire for praise, for doing well, for making
progress, for wanting to know about things, his love for his parents,
his sense of duty--but she must not over-use any of these in such a way
that that the child's character is compromised. Especially, she must be
careful that nothing takes priority over the child's desire to
know--that, and nothing else, should be the child's motivation to do
lessons. Children naturally want to know, and that's enough to make
them want to learn.
pg 142
Doing
the Specified Work at the Specified Time
Opportunities to discuss this will come up in other
chapters later. For now, let's see what a homeschool based on sound
principles might look like. First of all, there's a schedule written in
enough detail that the child has a good idea what he needs to do, and
how long each lesson will last. Teaching him that each subject needs to
be done in a specific block of time teaches him that it does matter, and one time isn't as
good as another. If he doesn't get his work done the first time in the
time allotted, there is no time set aside to do it again. This compels
the child to pay attention and get his work done the first time. Each
lesson is short, usually twenty minutes or less for a child younger
than eight. Knowing that his lesson won't drag on forever but has a
twenty minute limit helps children stay focused. A child's mind can
only take in so much at once. By allotting only the amount of time that
takes and no more, no time is wasted. If lessons are carefully
alternated, perhaps doing math first while the child is fresh and then
switching to writing or reading, then he will easily go from one lesson
to the next without getting bored. Lessons should be alternated so that
a mental challenge is followed by one in which he has to do some
physical skill
carefully. The schedule should be a little different every day to
prevent boredom.
Even with short, varied lessons, children may still need help from time
to time keeping focused. His desire for praise may make him want some
kind of reward, something more than a word of approval. If [when?] rewards are used,
pg 143
they should relate to the task. The reward should be a natural
consequence of his good conduct.
Natural
Consequence as a Reward
What would be
the natural consequence of completing work quickly and accurately?
Wouldn't it be time for leisure? If a boy is given twenty minutes to do
math and he finishes in ten, then he is entitled to the remaining ten
minutes to go outside or do whatever he wants. But if his task was to
write six perfect m's and he writes six lines of m's but only one is
acceptable, then he doesn't get time to re-do. The paper and pencil are
put away and the lesson is over. But if he writes six perfect m's right
off on the top line, then he gets to spend the rest of the lesson time
drawing boats or trains or whatever he wants. For homeschool students,
this compensates for not getting the praise in front of a class that
usually motivates students.
Competition
Rivalry can be an
effective means to interest children's attention. But some might object
that
a desire to win and do better than everyone else implies that a person
is unloving, and that kind of attitude should be discouraged. Some
criticize grades as a way encouraging competition between students. But
it's a fact of life that, in the real world, people are rewarded with
prizes or praise, depending on the activity--football, tennis, art,
writing
pg 144
poetry. There is envy and grudging among many who come in second place
in the real world and there always will be. Some think that children
headed for the real cut-throat world should get used to it by
experiencing competitiveness at school. But a mother teaching at home
can do better than that. She can teach her child not to be conceited
when he wins, and not to be resentful when he loses. She can bring up
her children with so much love and acceptance that one sibling can have
enough joy in his brother's success to offset disappointment at his own
loss. And sadness when his brother loses removes any egotism when he
wins. Also, if grades are used to stimulate attention and effort, they
should be based on conduct and effort rather than natural talent. Marks
should be given in areas that every child has a fair shot at, such as
promptness, order, paying attention, carefulness, obedience, and
gentleness. Grades in these things can be given without any danger of
causing a peevish sense of injustice to the child who doesn't do well.
But rivalry is disastrous when it's used to motivate children to learn,
because it sometimes replaces the love of learning in education. In
fact, even grades for conduct encourage children to do right for the
wrong reason--for reward rather than for its on sake. Learning is
interesting enough that rewards shouldn't be necessary to encourage
attention, promptness and carefulness.
Affection
and Loyalty as a Motive
It's
fine for a child to want to do well and work hard to please the parents
who do so much for him. It's okay to use this as a motive sometimes,
but not often. If the child's affection is called on too often to do
something to please his father or so as not to upset his father,
pg 145
then he may begin to feel uncomfortable with that. What should have
been the
real motivation for doing something is hidden under sentiment that the
child may begin to resent. But, since he doesn't want to seem unloving,
he may be forced to work to honor a feeling he no longer feels, and he
will be untrue to himself.
Knowledge
is Appealing for its Own Sake
The
most obvious motivator to hold a child's attention is knowledge itself.
Knowledge is fascinating and children are naturally hungry for it. But
bad teachers cure children of that pretty quickly, and proof of that is
evident in many classrooms. More on that later.
What
is Attention?
It's clear
that attention is not a faculty of the mind. In fact, the various
operations of the mind aren't accurately described as faculties.
Attention isn't really an operation of the mind. it just means applying
all of oneself to the matter at hand, and it can be developed so that
it becomes a habit. [Attention
isn't a muscle in the brain to be exercised. It's something you do rather than something you have.] A parent
teaches this habit by using some motive to attract and hold the young
child's attention. [Note that the
child isn't cajoled and reprimanded into it; it's up to the parent to
make the environment conducive so that the child is interested.]
Making
Themselves Do It
As children get
older, the responsibility shifts to them to use the volition of their
own will to make themselves
focus, even when things try to distract their attention. Children
should be taught to feel a sense of triumph at being able to compel
themselves to focus. Let them know how thoughts are always flitting in
and out of the mind, and they will drift from one thought to another.
The struggle and victory is to be able to fix their thoughts on
pg 146
the task at hand. A child who succeeds deserves a reward of a
sympathetic look from his mother and her words of praise: 'You have
done well, you've done the right thing.' But keep in mind that a person
can only pay attention if he has the intellectual capability to grasp
the subject.
The importance of attention can't be emphasized too much. It is within
everyone's reach and should be the mental discipline most coveted. No
matter how clever a child is, he can only make use of his intelligence
in the proportion that he's able to focus his attention when and where
he wants.
The
Secret of Stress
Mothers should avoid constantly hassling with their children
over doing their lessons. For one thing, it's stressful for the mother!
It is worth her while to make sure that her children never do a lesson
that they don't put their whole heart into. This isn't as impossible as
it seems. The key is to be on guard from the very beginning that
children never develop the habit of not paying attention. Overpressure
has been discussed a lot recently and we have already touched on a
couple of causes of overpressure. But, honestly, one of the main
reasons that brains are overworked is because of not paying attention.
We all know that it isn't the things we accomplish that wear us down
with a sense of urgent rushing, but the mental burden of the things we
leave undone. And the only real reason that a student might be stressed
is because their attention wandered so that they didn't fully grasp the
lesson when it was given.
pg 147
That lesson becomes like a thorn in the side, there's always a vague
sense of something missing that they can't fill in. That burden
stresses a student more than attentively learning a dozen lessons!
The
Schoolchild's Homework
Parents can still be involved in their children's education even after
their
children start going off to school. They can be involved with homework,
although not by helping to
complete it. Students should be able to do
the work by themselves. But suppose a mother says, 'Poor Amy has so
much homework, that she never finishes until 9:30!' or, 'Poor Thomas is
studying til ten o'clock; we rarely see the children in the evenings
anymore.' But the parents, by letting this continue, may be allowing
their children to develop habits that will ruin their bodily health and
thinking ability.
Curing
Children of Dawdling Over Homework
This habit isn't usually the fault of the homework itself. It's usually
the children--they daydream over their books. A little healthy
treatment should cure them of that ailment. Give them no more than 1
1/2 hours to do their homework. Without reprimanding them, treat them
as if they had failed if they don't reappear at the end of their
allotted time. Don't let them weasel sympathy out of you with excuses.
At the moment their time is up, begin some fun time downstairs, perhaps
a family read-aloud, or a game. They will soon find that they can get their homework done in time
to have some family fun, and their schoolwork will benefit because
they'll be putting all of their attention into it. It must be said here
that children under fourteen years of age shouldn't have homework
anyway. It sacrifices their home life.
pg 148
A thorough education should be possible by skillfully planning the
morning hours.
Natural
Consequences Should be the Reward or Punishment for Behavior
In our discussion of how to get children to pay attention, we've
mentioned discipline--rewards and punishments. Every novice caregiver
or teacher thinks they can handle discipline. But even discipline has
its
scientific principle. There is a natural law for managing rewards and
punishments: they should be natural consequences related to the
circumstances. They should give the child a taste for the consequences
he might experience from the same kind of behavior in the real world,
although in childhood, parents are around to prevent permanent injury
to the child. This concept is illustrated in the story of Rosamond
and the Purple Jar, although it's not totally realistic--little
girls don't usually long for purple flower jars in drug store windows.
But living with the consequences of our impulses to buy what we don't
really need is a life lesson that we all need to
learn. So it's a good lesson to allow our children to experience.
[Note: The concept of 'natural
consequences' as Charlotte Mason is describing it, how to use it, how
not to use it, is a main tenet of Jane Nelsen's Positive Discipline
materials, which you can read more about on her website.]
Natural
Consequences
Administering rewards and punishments this way takes some careful
consideration and consistent judgment from the mother. She must
consider where the fault lies, where the character weakness stems from,
and aim the consequence to deal with that. She must brace herself to
witness her child suffer the consequences of his actions in the short
term, for his long-term good. If children are brought up
conscientiously, not many of these incidents will be necessary to learn
about life. The child who has done something right
pg 149
gains some natural reward (such as ten minutes to play after getting
his lesson done early) and the child who doesn't get his work done
on time misses out. The mother will have to brace herself and her child
to
endure the consequence. If she treats both children the same, she
injures the child--not the one who did well, but the one who didn't
finish his work early. She is teaching him to continue dawdling over
work. In submitting her child to the discipline of natural
consequences, the mother must use courtesy, understanding and
discernment. There are times when the natural
consequence is exactly what she wants to avoid, so she must find some
logical consequence that will have a related educational value. For
instance, the natural consequence of a child neglecting schoolwork is
that he stays ignorant, but no mother can allow that to happen!
II. The Habits of Application, Etc.
Quick
Mental Effort
The methods of training mental activity and application are the same
ones used to train the habit of attention. A child who plods through
his work diligently can be trained to think more nimbly. The teacher
must be alert herself. She must expect immediate answers, quick
thinking and prompt work. Just as a tortoise will never be as fast as a
hare, children have limits. But even a tortoise can be trained to be
just a trifle quicker every day. That is done by aiming for quick
apprehension and work.
Enthusiasm
Must be Aroused
The same goes for applying himself. Children must be prevented from
getting into a mood
pg 150
where they say, 'I'm so tired of math,' or 'of history.' His interest
must be stimulated. There must always be something pleasant for him to
learn about. At the same time, the teacher should commend the applying
of oneself to work as honorable, but disapprove of restless attention
and haphazard work.
III. The Habit of Thinking
Thinking
Takes Up the Lion's Share of Operations
The actual working effort of the mind goes by different terms to
psychologists, and they divide the brain's work into different
operations. That's accurate as it relates to education. For our
purposes, thinking will include conscious efforts of thinking, but not
the random fancies that flit through the mind by themselves. We'll
quote Archbishop Thompson's book Laws of Thought, which is so good that
I'll quote it more than once. He says that Captain Head was traveling
across the grassy plains of South America. Suddenly his guide halted,
pointed at the sky and cried, 'A lion!' This surprised Captain Head. He
looked up and, after straining his eyes, he could barely make out some
condors circling high in the air in a particular spot. Apparently, on
the ground under this spot, out of sight of either Captain Head or the
guide, must be the carcass of some large animal, and a lion must be
feeding on it. The condors were watching enviously as they circled, but
they didn't dare land. Seeing the birds was as much confirmation to the
guide as the actual sight of a lion would have been to anyone else. He
knew there was a lion ahead.
pg 151
This line of reasoning took no extra effort for the guide. It was easy
for him, as he looked up, to draw his logic. Unlike Captain Head, he
was used to condors and their behavior, so the thought process that
might have taken Captain Head many steps came instantaneously to the
guide. Seeing the condors convinced him that a carcass lay ahead. But
why did the condors keep circling? Why didn't they land? Another animal
must have beat them there. But what? A dog? A jackal? No, condors
wouldn't be intimidated by them, they'd just drive them away or share
the feast with them. It must be a very large beast. Since this was an
area where lions lived, he concluded that that's what was up ahead. And
this entire thought process was articulated in two words: 'A lion.'
Children should go through this kind of thought process in every
lesson. They should trace a resulting effect back to its cause, or
trace the cause to its final effect. They should compare things to find
out ways they're alike and how they differ. Then they should postulate
why.
IV. The Habit of Imagining
The
Sense of Nonsense
All their school lessons will provide varying opportunities for
children to exercise their thinking skills. Their lessons should be
carefully alternated so that a mechanical skill is scheduled right
after (or before) an intellectual lesson, and a fun use of imagination
comes before or after use of logical reason. As an aside, it's too bad
when a taste for ludicrous nonsense is cultivated with ridiculous
children's books at the expense of teaching them better things. Alice in Wonderland is 'a delicious
feast of absurdities,' and children and grown-ups can't
pg 152
afford to miss it. But the child who reads it doesn't create the same
wonderful, rich pictures in his mind, the imaging of the unknown, that
he does when he reads Swiss Family
Robinson.
This issue is worth thinking about when considering what kinds of books
to get children as Christmas gifts for their free reading. Silly
nonsense books only cultivate a sense of the comical. Although a sense
of humor makes life more amusing, cultivating too much of it makes a
child flippant. A book like Diogenes
and the Naughty Boys of Troy [I
have no clue what this book might have been like!] may be
tempting, but it isn't the sort of book that children will re-live over
and over in their play, like they do with Robinson Crusoe and his finding of
the footprint. Children should have some humorous books, but they
shouldn't have too large a place in their literary diet.
Stories
About Normal Children vs. Tales of Imagination
Stories about Christmas holidays, or John and Emily, or the fun times,
peculiarities and upright morality of children just like themselves,
living in circumstances just like their own, leave nothing to the
imagination. Children are so familiar with that kind of thing that it
rarely occurs to them to play at the situations in any of those
stories. They wouldn't even read it a second time. But they love tales
of the imagination, people from other lands and other times, heroic
adventures, death-defying escapes, wonderful fairy tales in which they
can suspend reality and believe the impossible. Even when they know the
story is impossible, they can surrender themselves to it and believe.
Imagination
and Great Vision
Imaginary tales have more use than just amusing children. It would be
tragic if future generations had no creative imagination. They would be
less likely to conceive of great ideas and do heroic
pg 153
deeds. It is only when we can let a person or cause fill us so much
that even our own self-interest is pushed aside that we're able to make
great sacrifices and do great things for that person or cause. Our
novelists claim that there's nothing left to imagine, and that's why
they just write about real things. But imagination is creative. It
should see not only what's there, but what is possible and what is
artistically suitable in a given circumstance.
Imagination
Grows
Imagination doesn't come down from above fully developed, and plant
itself into a mature mind like a man moving into an empty house. Like
any other function of the mind, it starts as the merest seed of a
power. It grows according to what nourishment it gets. Childhood, the
age of wonder and faith, is its window of opportunity to grow. Children
should know the delight of living in faraway lands, of being someone
else living in a different time, a wonderful double life. They can
experience this through books. Children's history and geography books
should also cultivate their ability to imagine. If children don't
imagine what it was like to live in the times they read about in
history, or feel familiar with the places described in geography, then
their lessons aren't doing their job. But even if their lessons serve
their purpose, then the picture gallery of the child's mind will still
be sparse if the child hasn't been introduced to imaginary worlds of
fancy.
Thinking
Comes by Practice
We'll think about how to plan lessons to induce habits of thinking
later. For now, just know that thinking, like writing or skating, takes
practice. A child who has never had to think won't think, and probably
never will. Aren't
pg 154
there enough people already going through the world without any
deliberate attempt at thinking or use of their wits? Children must be
made to think every day of their lives. They should have to get at the
'why' of things for themselves. Children and parents should take turns
asking 'why' questions and then trying to answer them. If a child asks
'why?' then many parents are proud of this evidence of intelligence in
their child and they tell him the answer. Asking 'why' does indeed show
some intelligence, but only at a superficial level. But let the parent be the one to ask 'why' and
the child have to think of the answer! After the child has gone over it
in his mind, it's fine to give him the answer. He'll never forget it [and he's already gone through the
mental process of trying to work it out.] Every walk should
suggest some kind of puzzle for the child to have to figure out--'Why
does that leaf float on the water, while this pebble sinks?' and so on.
V. The Habit of Remembering
Remembering
and Recollecting
Memory is like a giant storehouse for all the knowledge we have. Our
intelligence is in proportion to our storage. Children learn so they
can remember. We can't recall all of what we learn and experience as
children, yet it forms the groundwork of our knowledge. Our later
notions and opinions are grown out of [and
may be a reaction to] what we learned and knew in our childhood.
That is the basis of what we enjoy and have interests in, although we
may never be able to bring it clearly to mind as adults. As in a bank
account, much of what we have learned and experienced is not only stored
pg 155
in our memory, but it's our available funds that we can draw out
whenever we want. The memory that is available to draw out is our most
valuable asset.
A
Dubious Memory
There is a third kind of memory, but it's not dependable. We have facts
and ideas that float through the brain but never latch on and stay.
That's the kind of memory a lawyer uses when he collects facts for a
case but forgets to use them in his case, or a student who crams for a
test by writing down everything he learned but doesn't commit it to
long-term memory. John Ruskin said that students cram to pass tests
rather than to really learn the material. So they do pass their tests,
but they end up not knowing what they studied. It's no great loss for a
lawyer or doctor to forget the case they've finished with, or for a
publisher to forget a book he read but rejected. The art of forgetting
has its uses. But what about a student who has no more to show for a
year's work than a high ranking in his class's roster?
Memories
Make a Physical Record in Brain Tissue
To thoroughly explain the subject of memory would be impossible here,
but we can answer a couple of questions. How do we remember anything at
all? How do we get the ability to make use of stored memory--in other
words, how do we recall memory? Under what conditions do we acquire
short term memories that don't lodge in the brain, can't be recalled,
but are only in the brain for a little while and then discarded easily?
We are currently [1885]
interested in a wonderful invention that can record spoken words and
pg 156
repeat, maybe a hundred years from now, a speech or lecture in the very
same words and voice of the original speaker. Well, that's what the
part of the brain called memory
can do! It receives impressions and records them mechanically. At least
that's the current theory according physiologists. In other words, the
minds understands certain facts, and the nerve substance of the brain
records that understanding.
Under
What Conditions are Memories Made?
The next logical question is, what conditions are necessary for an
imprint of a fact or experience to be made? Is the imprint permanent?
Does the brain have a limit on how many imprints it can store? So far,
from common experience and from many examples given by psychologists,
it seems that any fact or experience that is focused on with attention
makes enough of an impression to fix it in the memory. In other words,
if you give an instant of undivided attention to any one thing, that
thing will be remembered. Even the way we describe this phenomenon is
accurate. We say, 'Such and such a sight or sound made a strong impression on me.' And that's
exactly what has happened. If we hold the attention on any fact or
experience, we'll remember it. It will be impressed on the surface of
the brain tissue. Clearly, then, if you want a child to remember
something, then fix his whole attention so that his mind gazes fully
upon it. Then he will have it. By some sort of photographic process,
his minds takes an image of that fact or experience and imprints it on
the brain tissue. Perhaps when he's
pg 157
an old man, the memory will flash across his mind.
Memory
and the Law of Association
But having a memory flash randomly across the mind is not good enough.
We need to be able to call up the memory when we want to. To do this,
we need more than isolated incidents of focusing to create mental
impressions on the brain tissue. If you use your adept teaching skills
to get a child to focus on the French verb avoir, he will remember it.
But memorizing one verb is not enough to make a child fluent in French.
To teach French, you need to fix the child's mind on the single
isolated lesson, but you must also link today's lesson to the previous
lesson so that each lesson is linked [like
a chain] in his memory. When he remembers one, he'll remember
the rest of them, too. Physically, it appears that this works so that,
as new brain tissue is laid down, the links are laid side by side so
that you end up with what amounts to a track of French. This is a good
way to make practical use of the concept of associations. A lot of good
lessons are forgotten because the memories of them aren't linked
together. Too often, the teacher is content just to create a single
isolated impression that is forgotten until some random suggestion
brings it to mind. Instead, the teacher should link those memories
together so that the memory of one pulls the others into mind, too. A
Dr. Edward Pick developed a system of 'mnemonics' that used attention
and association to aid the memory. Although not everyone would like the
way he applied it, the principles behind it do work.
pg 158
Every
Lesson Should Recall the One Before It
Every lesson should grasp the child's whole attention, and every new
lesson should be so intertwined with the previous one that they are
remembered as a string of connected lessons.
The
Brain Has No Limit to How Much it Can Record
The kind of easy come, easy go
rote memory doesn't follow the rules of association. The child learns
his list by heart, rattles it off like a parrot, and then forgets it.
There is no record of it on his brain at all. To create a record of a
memory, there has to be enough time to focus the attention, and to
allow brain tissue to grow to the new impression. Under these
conditions, it appears that the brain has no limit to how many
impressions it can record. However, sometimes a girl who has learned
enough French to speak it will forget it by the time she's a
grandmother. What has happened is that she hasn't used it by speaking,
hearing or reading French all along. So the path in her mind to those
memories isn't kept clear and open and she can't go back to retrieve
them.
Links
of Association are a Condition of Remembering
To go through the trouble of learning something and then allowing it to
grow rusty in some neglected corner of the brain is a waste. If no
links of association are created to connect to the memory, then it's
like trying to get water from an empty well. How are these links
formed? As
each subject is studied, a way will present itself. A child may have a
lesson one day about Switzerland and Holland the next day. One lesson
is linked to
pg 159
the other by pointing out how different the two countries are. What one
country has, the other doesn't. 'The association is one of similarity,
and not of contrast.' [?] In
our personal experience, colors and sounds and smells recall familiar
people or events. But experiential sensations can't be used in
education. So the teacher will have to find links in the nature of the
things themselves.
VI. The Habit of Perfect Work
The
Habit of Turning in Imperfect Work
'Do it right the first time' is good advice for bringing up any family.
England, as a nation, tends to think too much about the individual and
not enough about things and work and performance. Children are allowed
to write or sew stitches or assemble doll clothes or make small
carpentry projects any old way, with the idea that they'll do better
later. Other countries, like France and Germany, take a philosophical
perspective. They know that if children get into the habit of turning
out careless work, then they'll grow into men and women who don't think
it's important to do their best. I was impressed with children's work
from a class of about forty students, aged six and seven, in an
elementary school in Heidelberg. They were doing a writing lesson and
the teacher was doing a lot of talking as he wrote each word on the
blackboard. When their slates were shown, I didn't see even one
defective or irregular letter on any of the forty slates! I saw the
same principle of perfection in France at a display of
pg 160
children's schoolwork. No imperfect composition was displayed and
justified because it was 'only the work of children.'
A
Child Should Execute Perfectly
A child should not be assigned work that he isn't capable of doing
perfectly, and perfect work should be expected as a matter of course.
For example, if he is supposed to write a series of strokes and is
allowed to turn in a page of sloppy stroke-marks unevenly spaced and
sloping irregularly, then his moral integrity is compromised from
getting by on less than his best. Instead, just assign him six strokes
to copy instead of a full page. Require that they be six perfect strokes, evenly spaced and
with uniform slant. If one isn't right, have him show you what's wrong
with it and let him re-do it. If he can't do six perfect ones today,
let him try again tomorrow, and again the next day. When he finally
writes six perfect strokes, celebrate the occasion! Let him feel a
sense of triumph. The same with other little tasks that he wants to
do--painting, drawing, making things. Let everything that he does be
done well. If he builds a house of cards, he should be ashamed if it's
rickety and uneven. Along the same lines, he should finish whatever he
begins. He should rarely be allowed to start on a new project until the
last one is finished.
VII. Some Moral Habits--Obedience
With so much to cover, there's only time to barely mention in passing
some moral habits that are very important for the mother to teach. Just
remember that everything we've already said about cultivating habits
applies just as much here.
pg 161
A
Child's Entire Responsibility
First and most important is the habit of obedience. In fact, obedience
is the whole duty of a child. The reason is that, if a child obeys his
parents, every other duty will be taken care of. Not only that, but
mankind is obligated to be obedient. Even we adults have to obey our
conscience, the laws of the world around us, and God's guidance.
Someone has said that when Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, each of
three temptations wasn't a suggestion to commit outright sin, but to be
willful and choose his own way, which is the opposite of obedience.
Willfulness is where all the foolishness that's bound in the heart of a
child comes from. [Prov
22:15]
Obedience
is Not a Casual Duty
Parents must understand that obedience is not just a casual issue
between them and their child. The parent is the chosen representative
to ultimately teach the child that real obedience is having enough self
control to choose to obey laws because it's the right thing to do. The
parent has no right to neglect teaching his child obedience. Every time
the child willfully disobeys, he is directly challenging the parent.
Parents should also understand that children shouldn't be obeying just
because their parents told them to, but because the Bible says
'Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.' [Eph 6:1]
Children
Must Have the Desire to Obey
The habit of obedience is only really formed when the child's will is
involved and he obeys because he wants to do the right thing even when
he's tempted to disobey. He must obey willingly, not because he feels
compelled. Only then will he be able to use the strength of his own
will to
pg 162
resist temptation when his inclinations prompt him to do the wrong
thing. They say that children who have the strictest parents in
demanding instant obedience often turn out badly, and children brought
up with strict authoritarian discipline rebel as soon as they get their
first chance. It's true--because these children haven't been trained
over the years to have a habit of real
obedience. Their will hasn't been wooed to the side of willing service
and voluntary yielding to the highest law. Instead, these poor children
have been bullied into complying to the will (or, more accurately, the
stubbornness) of someone stronger. They've given in, not because it's
right, but in order to avoid punishment.
Expect
Obedience
The most sacred duty a mother has is to train her infant to
instant
obedience. It's not difficult to teach, since, as Wordsworth said, the
infant is still 'trailing clouds of glory' [and is therefore receptive to things of
God.] The concept of obedience is already in him and hasn't been
marred. It's just waiting to be called into use. The mother doesn't
have to criticize, threaten or spank. She has been entrusted with
authority and the child instinctively recognizes it. All
she needs to do is to say, 'Do this,' in a quiet voice that conveys
that she's in charge, and expect it to be done. The mother often loses
her hold over children because they can tell by the tone of her voice
that she doesn't really expect that they'll obey. She isn't convinced
of her position and doesn't have enough confidence in her own
authority. The mother's best advantage is a habit of obedience. If she
begins by always demanding that the children obey her, they just will,
as a matter of course. But if they even once get a wedge in that
suggests the possibility that they have an option to disobey, then a
tragic struggle
pg 163
begins. That struggle often ends with children doing what's right in
their own eyes.
Here is just the kind of thing that is fatal: The children are in the
formal living room and the doorbell rings. 'Go upstairs and play in
your room.' 'But, please, Mom, can't we just stay in the corner by the
window? We promise to be quiet.' The mother is proud of the polite way
her children ask, so she lets them stay. And, of course, they aren't
quiet, but that's not the worst thing. The worst thing is that they
have been successful in doing what they wanted instead of what they
were told. Once their necks are out of the yoke of obedience, it's very
hard to get them back in again. It's in small seemingly trivial matters
that the mother is defeated. 'Bedtime, William.' 'Oh, Mom, please, just
let me finish this.' And she yields, forgetting that the current
situation isn't the point. What matters is that the child should be
confirming and perpetuating a habit of obeying by having an unbroken
chain of incidents where he obeys. Children are amazing in their
ability to find ways around the spirit of the law, but to still hold on
to the legalistic letter of the law. 'Mary, time to come in.' 'Okay,
Mom.' but her mother has to call her four times before Mary actually
comes. 'Put away your blocks,' and the child puts them away, but slowly
and reluctantly. 'Always wash your hands when you hear the first bell.'
And the child does it that one time, but not again.
In order to avoid the child's display of disobedience, the mother needs
to start from infancy insisting that the child obeys right away,
cheerfully, and that he does this all this time, except occasionally
when he forgets. Slow, reluctant, unwilling obedience some of the time
is hardly worth having. It's easier to teach a child the habit of
perfect obedience by never letting him know anything else, than it is
to
compel an outward show of obedience by
pg 164
constantly wielding heavy-handed authority. Later, when the child is
old enough, take him into confidence. Let him know that it's a noble
thing to be able to make yourself do in a minute the thing that you
don't feel like doing. To
train a habit of obedience, the mother must be very careful never to
give a command that she doesn't intend to enforce. At the same time,
she must not burden her children with the tedious weight of one command
after another.
Obeying
the Law Affords Liberty
Children who have a habit of consistent, perfect obedience can be
trusted with a lot of liberty. They are given a very few rules that
they know they have to obey, but, for the most part, they can be left
to direct their own actions, even though they might make a few
mistakes. They don't have to be barraged with a perpetual fire of, 'Do
this,' and 'Don't do that!'
VIII. Truthfulness
I don't need to convince parents about the importance of truthfulness.
But how to train a child to
be honest and accurate is another matter. It requires painstaking
effort and tactical vigilance from the mother.
Three
Causes of Lying and They're All Vicious
The bad habit of lying stems from three causes: being careless about
making sure that something is true, being careless about stating the
truth, and deliberately trying to deceive. It's plain to see that all
three reasons are damaging because a man's character can be ruined by
nothing more than a careless mis-statement said about him, or someone
repeating a damaging remark without taking
pg 165
the trouble to see if it's true, or someone telling what he has seen or
heard without relaying facts accurately, effectually making his words
nothing but lies.
Children
Are Usually Guilty of Only One Kind
Of the three kinds of lying, only the third kind [deliberate deceit] is cause for
guilt in a child. The first and second kinds are simply his immaturity.
He might say that he saw lots
of spotted dogs in town, when he really saw two. Or, all the boys are collecting the
latest trading cards when he knows of three. Or everybody says that John is sneaky,
when he's only heard Bobby say so. These detours from accuracy are so
trivial that mothers may tend to overlook them as childish prattle.
But, actually, even a trivial lapse damages a child's sense of truth,
which is like a sharp blade that easily loses its razor-sharp edge.
Making
Accurate Statements
Training a child to be meticulous about making accurate statements, no
matter how trivial the subject, will fortify him against temptations to
make gross exaggerations. He'll be less prone to revise a story to make
his part in it sound better, or withhold facts, or avoid a question if
his binding habit has been to state the plain, simple facts and if he
hasn't been allowed to get into the habit of being too casual and loose
about what he says.
Exaggeration
and Ludicrous Embellishments
Two forms of evading the truth will be very tempting to the child. His
mother will need to use great vigilance to prevent him from
exaggerating or embellishing a story with ludicrous additions. No
matter how much funnier a story may be with such enhancements, the
ruthless mother must train him to strip all but the factual truth from
his story. A reputation
pg 166
for being amusing is not worth the price of the dignity of character
that goes along with the habit of strict truth-telling. Fortunately, it
is possible to be funny without sacrificing truth.
Reverence,
etc
As far as reverence, consideration for others, respect for persons and
property, it is important to be zealous about forming these moral
qualities until they become a daily habit. They are the distinctive
marks of a fine, gracious character. In our times, a self-assertive,
aggressive, self-seeking temper is all too common.
Disposition
is Born in a Child
I am eager to say something about cultivating the habit of a
good-natured disposition. We tend to think that our temperament is
something we're born with and that we can't do anything about it. 'Oh,
she's such a sweet spirited little thing; nothing bothers her!' 'He has
his father's temper, the littlest thing sets him off in a rage,' are
the kinds of comments we hear all the time.
Not
Temperament, but Tendency
It is certainly true that children inherit a tendency to anger easily,
to be anxious, discontent, irritable, sullen, complaining or impatient;
or cheerful, trustful, good-humored, patient and humble. Whether a
person is happy or wretched, and whether those who live with him are
content or miserable will depend on which of these qualities dominates.
We all know someone who has integrity and many excellent virtues, but
who is unbearable
pg 167
to be around. The tragedy isn't that this person was born sullen or
petty or jealous. That could have been cured. The tragedy is that he
was allowed to grow up with this fault. Here, more than anywhere else,
the power of habit is most helpful. It's up to parents to correct the
bent quirks of their child's personality, especially if the tendency
came from their side of the family. Parents should send their child to
face the world with an even, cheerful temper, inclined to make the best
of things, to look on the bright side, to assume the best and kindest
of the motives of others, and not to feel he has a right to special
treatment. These things are what commonly upset people. But parents can
teach their children better because inborn traits are no more than
tendencies that can be changed.
Parents
Must Correct Tendencies with New Habits
Force of habit turns a tendency into a temperament. It's up to the
mother to discourage the formation of ill tempers and promote good
tempers. It isn't difficult to do when the mother knows the child's
expressions and moods well, and can read the thoughts of his heart
before he is even aware of them himself. Remember that every jealous,
complaining, discontented thought leaves a physical track in the
child's brain tissue for more of those kinds of ugly thoughts to settle
into and continue to run on. This track, or rut, gets wider and deeper
with every ugly thought. The mother can nip it in the bud by watching
her child and catching the first sign of a bad mood before it manifests
itself. That is the best time to act.
Change
the Child's Thoughts
The mother should change her child's thoughts before the bad temper has
even had the chance to register in his consciousness, before he
pg 168
acts on it. Take the child outside, send him to get you something, tell
him or show him something interesting. In other words, give him something else to think about, but
in a natural, casual way so the child never suspects that you're doing
it. Since every incidence of sullenness makes a track for future sullen
incidences, then every incident that the mother can avoid prevents one
track for sullen thoughts to settle in. At the same time, she is laying
down new tracks for happier thoughts that will obliterate the old
tracks.
My suggestions aren't for a course of academic and ethical training.
These are for forming certain habits that will be displayed in a
child's character. With this limited program, there are issues just as
important that I haven't even had time to mention. With so many
possibilities, I've had to be selective. So I've chosen to focus on
those aspects that aren't of specialized interest only to educated
parents, but rather those that every thoughtful person recognizes as
important.
Paraphrased by L. N. Laurio
Please direct
any comments or questions to me by emailing me at cmseries-owner at yahoogroups dot com.