CM Series in Modern English

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Charlotte Mason in Modern English

Charlotte Mason's ideas are too important not to be understood and implemented in the 21st century, but her Victorian style of writing sometimes prevents parents from attempting to read her books. This is an imperfect attempt to make Charlotte's words accessible to modern parents. You may read these, print them out, share them freely--but they are copyrighted to me, so please don't post or publish them without asking.
~L. N. Laurio

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Part III

Concerning Young Men and Women

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1. Concerning Boys and Girls of School Age

The Relationship Between Life at School and Life at Home: School Discipline and Training at Home

School is a New Experience

When a child first goes to school, he begins a new life. In fact, no other change that happens to him afterwards will be as drastic a change in his life. And this is why: we have two kinds of social lives--private life and public life. We have a life as a member of a family, and a life as a member of society. Up until school age, the child has existed as a member of a family. His responsibilities have been pretty simple, and his affection bestowed among everyone according to their role in the family. He loves and obeys his parents, for the most part. He's fond of his brothers and sisters. He has no choice. The law of the family and his family love will follow him even when he begins mingling with the world outside his home. Before school, 'Mom says' is the rule for him, and 'Dad told me' is his highest authority. But all of that changes when he starts school. Although he's still loving and respectful towards those at home, other things enter his life and he begins to see

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the world from a different perspective. When parents send their children off to school, they might think that teachers and lessons are the only issues to consider. After all, the children are going to school to learn, meaning book learning, and the teachers and school principals take the place of parental authority over the children during school.

How true this is depends on another factor, although this factor is sometimes overlooked. That factor is peer pressure, as in, 'But all the other kids . . .' When selecting a school, a wise parent isn't satisfied to only consider the curriculum and character of the teachers. He'll also want to feel out the attitude and atmosphere of the student body. If the students seem to have an overall attitude of order, effort, and virtue, then the school is a good option. Once his child is enrolled there, he can be fairly sure that he'll be carried along towards doing right. Undoubtedly there are a few troublemakers in every large school, and bad behavior is contagious, but the important thing to find out is how far the example of the ringleader is followed by the other students.

It's often assumed that the overall attitude depends on the teacher, but that's not totally true. The teacher will do his best to get the students to have the attitudes they should, but it could be that, like Arnold and Thring, it will be years before he's successful, even if he's a very qualified teacher. We all know how public opinion in the world isn't reliable. In the little world of school, it's even more unreliable. There, public opinion changes as often as the shifting wind because of the nature of children--they're less reasonable and more emotional than adults. Yet, as unreliable as it is, this public sentiment within the school governs

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the entire school. Even the teachers' opinions are irrelevant unless they can sway the students to their view. This fact shows how the government of a school really works. A family is a limited monarchy where the parents are the rulers. But a school is a republic with an elected president. Of course, the teacher may maintain his position in spite of the students, but his authority and influence, which are what really matters, are only secure if the students choose to go along with it. In other words, they have to elect him to administer their affairs.

This is why school is such a new and stimulating world for a child. For the first time in his life, he has to find his own place among his equals. At home, he might have only had one equal, and that equal was his friend and ally--the sibling closest to him in age. But at school, he has a whole classroom of equals, some stronger than him and some weaker, working alongside him, shoulder to shoulder and neck and neck, doing the same lessons and games. It can be exciting and fun for him. As a new student, he'll 'catch' the tone of the school. If the other students do their work, he'll do his work. If they dawdle, he'll dawdle, unless he's been brought up unusually well. Fortunately, it's no exaggeration to say that, for the most part, today's students do their work. School attitudes are mostly on the side of order and effort. There are several reasons for this. It isn't that children are better or more diligent than they used to be, but they have stronger incentives now. The motives to work are stronger than the motives to be lazy.

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Exams

The Universities' Local Examinations and other public exams have brought about a great change in the atmosphere of both public and private middle class schools. These days, it's possible for almost any student to earn a distinction that counts, and that has been enough motivation for all of the students to make an effort. They all work hard. The desire to be noted and admired, as well as the added incentive of grades, scholarships and rewards, is enough to keep the students in line. The teachers have very little problems getting the students to study, with the few rebellious exceptions who won't conform with the rest.

This all sounds so wonderful that we wonder, is there a negative side to this? One thing we have to admit, whether we're practical or idealistic--the habit of working hard, the power of effort, prompt work, and a determined purpose in following through to complete a task are all things that add character to a person. If everything else is equal, a person who has completed the necessary work required to pass a certain exam is 20 percent more valuable than a student who hasn't been able to get his act together. But the 'everything else' is something we need to consider. We're not counting rewards that are only available to a select few, like exclusive scholarships, but does a person who prepares for an exam where all students who are up to a certain standard have a shot at success, have any disadvantage over a student who doesn't?

And this brings us to the question of 'overpressure.' That possibility is too serious to dismiss without

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investigating. Parents naturally dread overpressure more for their daughters than for their sons. But the discipline of mental exercise is so healthy for the brain that girls, even more than boys, can only benefit from definite work towards a goal. I can't emphasize strongly enough how important it is that growing girls not be mentally idle. It's just as bad for them to dawdle over their lessons as it is for them to lounge around all day in front of the TV. The most effective way to avoid the tendency to hysteria and other issues that growing girls are susceptible to is the habit of steady mental exercise. But there should be conditions--appropriate amounts, with plenty of time for physical exercise and recreation.

The question is--under those conditions [allowing plenty of time for physical exercise and recreation], is it possible to prepare for an exam such as the Universities' Local Examination for a Junior or Senior? If a girl of average intelligence has been fairly well taught up until she's about thirteen, then it's very possible. It isn't the slow and steady work over the school year that causes mental exhaustion, but the few weeks of cramming at the end of the semester as the student struggles to review an entire year's school work in a few weeks, placing undue stress on the powers of attention and prolonged hours studying instead of playing. That really is overpressure, and it's not healthy. It's also totally unnecessary because it's all a complete waste of time. The only thing that's gained from this senseless grind is a name or date here and there, and a few random facts. It's hardly ever the teachers who advise this kind of cramming--the students create the need for it on their own and work at it blindly. That's why it's easy for parents to put a stop to that kind of studying, especially if their children aren't away at boarding school. It's up to them to insist that, if their children are going to take

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any public exam, it must be only on the condition that very little time be spent studying for the exam beforehand. The time spent on each subject--language, or science, for example--can be increased or decreased, depending on the student's ability. With these two precautions, preparing for a public exam shouldn't do anything more than provide the student with a year's worth of specific worthwhile work.

The next thing to consider is the quality of the work. Set work from a well-planned program with a clear goal is a benefit. It can help the student develop a definite purpose and concentrated effort and attention. These qualities contribute to making a person successful. But what about the teaching approach and study method that a school system encourages when it's organized around preparation for public exams? And is there something better that we can compare it to? Is it too much to assume that these exams influence the general schoolwork of the middle class schools too much? A few years ago, The Times stated fairly accurately that the universities had completely revolutionized the system of education in secondary schools with their 'Local Examinations.' The regulations of the exam committees don't just affect the few candidates who have a shot at succeeding. The entire first division of the school is organized around the curriculum designed to the test, and all the rest of the divisions down to the lowest are working towards that curriculum. In other words, every student in the entire school gets lessons that are supposed to prepare him for the time when he'll take the exam. As soon as the work of the school

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begins to have an influence on the child, he starts working towards this one ultimate test.

The Times had nothing but praise for how these exams have inspired secondary education, and the great practical value of the students' work. It's rare anymore to find a school of any reputation that doesn't do thorough work, and their work is affirmed by the number of candidates from their schools who qualify for one exam or another. Sometimes we hear about a school whose students get results because their students use a system of cramming for tests, and aren't really learning anything at all. But, in general, middle-class schools have reached a pretty standard level. Few are any better or worse than the rest, they're all about equal. It didn't used to be that way. A school was either a place to get a great, high quality education, or else it was a poor excuse for a school, depending on the character of the person in charge of the school. But now the curriculum is all planned ahead. Any person can delegate the curriculum to assistants if he can't teach it himself, so that his school is as good as any other school. In other words, a school's reputation doesn't totally depend on the principal's strength of character and ability to organize any more.

The leveling-out tendency of our schools has some disadvantages. Individuality of students and schools isn't encouraged under this kind of system. A system of basing schoolwork on public exams ['teaching the test'] will necessarily mean an end to individuality, character training and culture. After all, when the same test is administered to the entire country, can students be tested on what they think? No, they'll be tested on the objective facts they know and can put on paper. That's the only way to grade tests uniformly, and the examiners have to be uniformly unbiased, since test results affect the future of so many students. Thus, clear facts,

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information that can be tested, makes up the mental diet of school lessons. In this situation, a teacher who tends to be wordy will restrain himself and stick to the facts since only facts will be tested, and he feels that it's up to him to make sure his students receive, remember, sort and regurgitate the facts that their success depends on. It's true that it's useful to have these facts, but it's not the same as culture. It doesn't necessarily produce a cultivated or healthy habit of reading and reflecting.

'A primrose by the river's brim
Was just another rose to him
Just that, and nothing more.'

That's how it will be for a student who only goes to school to pass his exams and doesn't find a way to see beyond the grind of lessons.

The routine of school work also becomes so mechanical and never-ending, and there's so much to cover and get through, that there's no time or opportunity for the teacher to build a relationship with his students and influence the molding of character. There's no room for subtle moral training, which should be the refining touch that a gifted, experienced man should be able to impart. The routine of the work itself can give the kind of moral training that develops diligence, exactness, persistence, and steady, focused work, but there's more to moral training than that. There's something more. It's not easy to define, but the only way to get it is through sympathetic dialog with people who are morally and mentally ahead of us. It's this vague quality that gets squeezed out in the pressure of the school grind.

So, what should we do? Give up exams and let teachers and students muddle through in the old

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way? No, too much would be lost. Should we let our children continue to attend school, but make them stay home on exam day? No, because the training that schools are offering depend on those exams. If you miss out on that, you end up with nothing at all. The thing to do is to recognize the situation that exists. Accept and be grateful for the benefits that our schools do provide, and be prepared to fill in the gaps that the schools leave out by providing culture and moral training at home. (There's an even better way. Lord Salborne instituted it in his examination of naval cadets. For many years, the Parents' Union has used a method of education that can be tested in such a way that intelligence is assessed instead of rote memory, which minimizes the need for cramming. But that's already been discussed in another volume of the CM Series.)

Team Sports

It's even more important to urge parents to take on their responsibilities because school life has such a strong claim on modern children that parents tend to abdicate their duties as surely as parents in Sparta whose children were taken possession of by the state. Children who attend boarding school are treated like visitors when they do come home--they're fussed over at first, and then, by the time the school vacation is almost over, they're a bit in the way. Parents rarely make an effort to train and discipline them like they do with the younger siblings who still live at home. Children who only go to school for the day should have the advantage of still being trained and influenced by their parents, but that isn't always the case. The children are so busy with school work, and their free time is spent with school friends and school interests, that parents gradually lose their influence

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over them. The children have their own code of law that they live by: 'Oh, nobody does it like that!' or, 'Nobody thinks that anymore!' or 'All the other kids' --think this, or say that, or do such-and-such. This is considered the final authority that settles most issues being discussed. And, unfortunately, most parents are humble and insecure enough to have confidence that their children are getting something better at school than they're able to provide. They believe that the proper and appropriate training is being learned at school, so they make it a point not to interfere.

This absorption with school life is even more complete because the students aren't yet aware of any need that the school doesn't supply. As long as the appropriate kind of work and play are there, life seems wonderful. And work and play are balanced more at school than anywhere else in the world, at least in boys' schools, where organized sports are common. It's not as easy to provide for sports when it comes to girls' schools. Parents value the discipline of sports almost as much as they value the discipline of academics. It isn't just the wonderful physical training that they appreciate, but also the guts, endurance, foresight, strength, skill, obedience to rules, submission to authority, readiness to give place to the best person, self-reliance, loyalty to teammates even in bad times, that are developed through school team sports with their rules, captains, competitions and rivalries. What better way is there for a boy to learn that courage, determination and character bring success?

It's almost sad to think that girls' sports, even when they play the very same games that the boys play, are rarely taken as seriously, so they don't result in the same discipline. But, for now

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at any rate, life doesn't require as much rough treatment for girls as it does for boys, so there's no need for girls to have such harsh training. The influence that team sports has on boys' character can't be measured. Young teachers who are thoughtful as well as athletic recognize that, in order to influence their boys, they have to be able to hold their own in sports to prove that they understand what's important to their students. It's the same with friendship and camaraderie. It's in sports that boys find role models of male excellence to set an example for them to follow.

School Government

Team sports does a valuable service. It's greatly responsible for what's best in the character of Englishmen. And yet, the training that team sports provides is as incomplete as the discipline of academics. The discipline of school work and sports is mostly carried on as students stimulate and balance their natural desires against each other. Their natural desires are for power, friendship, respect, knowledge, physical movement, being the best, work, being busy, even the greed of desiring more things. It's a pretty impressive list. By playing upon these desires and adjusting them, it's possible to control the child so that he appears well-behaved, yet his character might have no sense of duty, his loyalties are weak, tendencies left to run wild, and he lacks the culture that's supposed to train his

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inherited tendencies and disposition into real character. Using a person's desire as a way to control him is the easiest thing in the world. Daycare workers know this all too well. The child's desire for praise, or play time, or a lollipop, means that the worker always has something in her bag of tricks to reward good behavior. Whenever there's an attempt to stimulate a group of people, it's always through their desires. People always want jobs or entertainment or power or money or land, and the one who plays on these desires is the one who will gain their favor. This kind of control is so easy to use, it's the most common in schools as well as other places. Prizes, praise, standings, success, and distinctions in sports and exams are enough to keep a school going with so much enthusiasm that nobody notices the lack of other wellsprings of motivation.

None of these desires are wrong in themselves, within limits. In fact, they were implanted within us to spur us on to progress. A person who has no desire for wealth and no ambition won't help himself and the world to move forward in the same way that a person will who has those desires. In school, the desires are mostly well regulated; one is brought into play against another one. The result is that a boy who develops under school discipline gains such durable qualities and sterling virtues that he matures into a man of character. But the weakness of this system is that students are all treated the same, with no regard for the individual tendencies that might require restraining, guidance, or encouragement. A vain girl will become more vain. An unsure girl will be snubbed. There's no time to reach out and help students who are struggling or tutor those who fall behind. Students who can't keep up the pace have to drop out of the race. It's bewildering how a student can have an uncultured character, or uneducated principles, or undeveloped

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affection for their own country, family or kind after many years of doing well at school. The reason is that the current form of control through desires doesn't take these things into account. And that's not all. Too often, boys who have done well at school develop into adults who lack any intelligent curiosity, don't like to read, and are so lazy that they avoid anything that makes them think. I'd like to say a word about an alarming evil that depresses thoughtful school principals and deans in many of our great schools, and makes parents fearful for the danger their children will have to face: sexual impurity. I won't discuss what parents might do to prepare their sons for the risks they'll encounter--everyone already knows what can be done, and too much has probably been said already.

We tend to forget that every kind of sin begins in the thoughts before it's manifested in actions. In fact, once a sin is conceived in the mind, it's potentially already committed. For that reason, teaching that occupies the mind with impure matters is risky. In our blind enthusiasm, it's possible for us to make even the innocent knowledge of birds and flowers seem impure to our young students. If we teach with the idea of instilling purity, we can unwittingly plant impure thoughts in students' minds because children are always aware of the hidden meaning. A teacher who sticks to the scientific facts and has nothing but science on his mind does fine, but a devout teacher whose goal is to get in the moral lesson will often unconsciously suggest the very impurity that he's trying to prevent! His students know that he knows, and that's enough to get their imaginations going. The safest bet may be surprising. We know that an idle, unoccupied mind is a prime place to harbor 'seven evil spirits.' Intellectual emptiness,

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with nothing to think about, can provide the perfect opportunity for the kind of impurity we want to avoid. It's odd that students seldom give their school lessons any thought beyond doing the mental grind it takes to pass and get them over with, yet by nature, they're consumed with intellectual curiosity. If we give students fascinating studies that will give their minds something to think about and provide subjects to talk about (don't we all like to talk about the books we're reading, for example?) then they won't have a mental void for unclean imaginings to fill.

There are schools in practically every neighborhood. Some schools provide the highest kind of mental discipline with deliberate development of the individual's character and with spiritual insight and teaching that will help the student to have a better life. But those kinds of schools are rare, and parents shouldn't assume that their child's school is one of those rare ones. It's better to take the school for what it's worth. Be thankful for what teaching it does provide, recognize and accept its weaknesses, and make an effort to fill the gap by supplying home training for whatever the school fails to provide.

Girls' Schools

For the most part, girls are worse off than boys as far as what they get out of school life. Boys' games have an element of generosity, of free and friendly 'give and take' that girls' games lack. Beautiful and enduring female friendships are formed in most schools, but girls don't always do each other good. They just as often manipulate to bring out the worst in each other instead of the best, perhaps because they're more delicate and nervous by design than boys, which can make them more sensitive and irritable.

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They don't have the common bond that most boys find through sports. Their relationship is based on talk, which all too often turns into gossip, and can evolve into emotional and unhealthy gossip. A girl with a fine, pure, noble character can be like salt that seasons an entire school, and, fortunately, there are plenty of girls like that. But parents should keep in mind the other possibility--their daughter might be thrown into a group of girls who aren't exactly vicious, but who have no redeeming qualities of character and they might influence her and bring her down to their own level.

Being created more sensitive, girls are more prone to petty envyings, jealousies and 'cliques' that prevent them from bringing out the best in each other's company. They're more dependent on the character of whoever is in charge them, and on their opportunities to be in direct contact with whoever that might be. If she's a woman with a clear, alert mind, high principles, and noble character, it's surprising how all of the lovely feminine qualities of the other girls are drawn towards her, like a magnet. The girls around her will mold themselves after her, yet each according to her own individual nature. The 'sympathy of numbers' will spur them all on towards virtue, each one--

'Eager to be rapid in the race.'

As teacher Dr. Lant Carpenter said, if the woman in charge has the power to 'command reverence and make over the wills' of her students, if she has 'great and varied intellectual ability, and a profound sense of what's right that pervades her whole life and conversation, and insight gained from a thorough and affectionate understanding of female nature,' then she'll be able to 'achieve victories every day that most teachers wouldn't think possible.' Above all,

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this will be the case if she's able to give her students the key to spiritual life. This kind of woman is able to get everything that's beautiful about the feminine nature on her side--its enthusiasm, humility, compliance, and devotion. Love works wonders, and parents will see their daughter growing right before their very eyes into the perfect woman they long for her to become.

But teachers like this are rare. And, as a matter of fact, it's a good thing, because if the parental role could be filled by outsiders, what would be left for the parents to do? Most parents will be careful to place their daughters under respectable women, and, having done that, they'll assess the training that the school provides for what it's worth and make an effort to supplement that with training at home. The value of school discipline to girls can be appreciated by parents who have seen their daughters grow up with habits of vagueness, inaccuracy, lack of effort, inconsistency, no conscientiousness about their work, and dawdling after being raised at home under the care of a governess. Of course, there are exceptions, and exceptional governesses. A girl who is trained under a woman who loves knowledge for its own sake will probably do even better than a girl who goes off to school when it comes to her range of non-personal interests, joy in life, and initiative. Girls often do well when their fathers are involved in part of their education. In good circumstances, a girl taught at home can excel in intellectual grasp and moral refinement. But when it comes to work habits, ability in work, and conscientious effort, faithful schoolgirls who have experienced the discipline of school life usually fare better than girls who have been brought up under an unexceptional, mediocre governess with no training.

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Home Training: 1. Physical Fitness

It's not necessary to compare the benefits of large schools vs. small schools, or day schools vs. boarding schools. No matter which a child goes to, it's safe to assume that the discipline of the school is so valuable that a child who grows up without it is at a disadvantage all his life. But, at the same time, the training one gets at school is so defective that, if that's all he gets, a person will grow up imperfect and inadequate. The important thing to consider is this: a parent's responsibility to educate his child doesn't come to an end when the child starts school. It's still up to them to supplement whatever is weak or missing from the school's training.

In this case, as always, there are four areas that education influences--the physical body, the intellectual mind, the morals, and the religious nature of the student. When it comes to the physical part of education, a parent whose son goes away to boarding school has it easy. Physical activity is a routine element of schools, which are well-regulated and turn out young men who are strong, capable and alert.

Boys at boarding schools are so well off in the area of physical activity/sports that they're the envy of the rest of the world. But girls aren't as fortunate. They have to depend on gymnastics, dancing and calisthenics, and some of the more extreme kinds of gymnastics are risky for older girls. There's very little provision made for them to thoroughly abandon themselves in sports as part of the business of life, as it is for boys. Even if there are tennis courts, only a few girls can play at a time. If there are playgrounds, the

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games are hit or miss, and girls aren't encouraged to be active enough to exercise their lungs like boys do. Day schools don't usually schedule a full program of physical fitness for girls. Therefore, it's up to parents to fill this missing gap. Jumping rope, badminton, baseball, softball, tennis, archery, and hockey should be strongly encouraged. Long walks in the country with a goal in mind, such as procuring plant specimens, should be promoted at least twice a week. Parents should make sure that their daughter spends two or three hours outdoors in the fresh air every day; if the weather makes that impossible, then the evening should end with dancing in the living room or some fun, active game.

But how can that be fit into a busy schedule? Mothers will need to think about that very carefully, since they're the ones who will need to manage the time cleverly enough to fit it all in and still provide a relaxing sense of leisure that should be every child's right. The fact is, girls' days are too full and busy. It takes some careful planning to schedule enough down-time for them to grow and mature. Let's say a girl gets up at 7am and goes to bed at 9pm. That's 14 hours of waking time. Perhaps five hours would be spent on school lessons (the time spent going to and from school counts as outdoor time). An hour to 1 1/2 hours would be spent on homework and study, at least an hour for piano practice, two hours for meals, and an hour for routine things like getting dressed. That leaves three and a half hours. If two and a half hours of that is dedicated to fun and physical activity, there's still an hour of free time left.

Younger children don't have as many chores

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and they don't need as much time for music practice or homework, so they'll have more time to play. But if a school-aged girl is going to have two or three hours of uninterrupted play time, it will require her mother's good management and firmness. First of all, the mother will have to make sure that school work is done, and done well, within a specified time. This must be non-negotiable. The girl will complain that it's impossible, but if her mother absolutely insists on it, she'll develop the habit of focused attention, which is the key to success in any endeavor, and will provide free time for fun that the children might not have if they're left to dawdle their time away. Homework rarely takes more than an hour and a half. If it takes longer than that, it's usually due to the habit of mental dawdling, which really wastes the brain tissue. Don't think that attempting to hold the child to an hour and a half will undermine the teacher's efforts. On the contrary, the teacher's greatest obstacle is the tendency for children's minds to wander--they'd rather dawdle an hour over work that should take five minutes of steady work. There's a promising possibility that, sometime in the future, curriculum will be written so that homework will be a thing of the past, and that will remove some stress from life at home. Teachers will eventually discover that if they let their students work from appropriate living books during the three or four hours of school time, more material will be covered in less time, and the need to assign homework or night classes will disappear.

If the mother is firm in enforcing promptness in things like taking off and putting on outdoor clothes, being at the table for meals on time, and not letting one activity overlap into time for the next activity, she'll be able to provide many half-hours of pleasant leisure for her

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children. This has a double blessing, because it also makes the children feel secure within the authority of a firm home rule.

Home Training: 2. Intellectual

For the most part, students' intellectual training must be left up to the school authorities. There's no point in discussing school subjects or methods of teaching because the teacher is the one who makes those decisions, and, as we've already noted, his decisions are largely influenced by those who give the exams. Even when a school's teaching isn't up to par, there's not much that can be done. There's not enough time or opportunity for supplemental academic training. Even if the parent tried that, or criticized the school, it would have a negative impact on the student. He would learn to devalue his school, but he wouldn't have anything better to replace it with. But, even though the parents can't and shouldn't do anything to oppose the teachers, they can still do a lot by playing according to the teacher's rules.

It's important for parents to keep up with their children's schoolwork as much as they can. They should know what they're studying and how they're doing, skim their schoolbooks, look at their written work, and be ready to offer an opinion, a suggestion, or a word of encouragement. They can show a genuine interest in their children's studies, and, when the subject they're learning about is something more interesting than the declension of Latin nouns, they can shed some additional light on the topic by talking about it at the dinner table. There are two reasons for this. It supports the teacher's efforts, and it keeps parents in the game. Parents sometimes fail to realize how much good a comment of interest from them can do to turn a dull lesson into

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a living idea that will stay in the child's mind forever. With all the books we have available these days, there's no excuse for a parent to be out of the loop of school lessons. The teacher will benefit from this kind of parental involvement. His job will be easier because his students will be more interested and ready with a response. Even more important, the parent will retain a place of authority as head of the family and keep the child's respect. Once a child begins to look down on his parents' intellectual level, he won't be able to genuinely honor them and submit to them. Whatever effort it takes to keep up with your children's lessons will be repaid by your children's glow of pride every time they see evidence of their parent's intellectual ability.

Home Training: 3. Moral

(a) Honoring Parents--Now we come to the kind of moral education that children can only get at home. If they don't learn it there, they won't learn it at all. Their most important duty, and one that needs to be kept continually on their minds, is their duty to their parents. All of their other obligations to family, country and neighbors, stem from this duty. Even more than this, they can only conceive of their obligations to God in proportion to what they recognize of their obligation to their human parents.

Unfortunately, parents don't always think wisely about this issue. The general feeling is that how a child treats his parent is a matter between the two of them alone. If a parent chooses to let his child's confidence, obedience and respect go, it's his own business. He has a right to do what he wants with his child in the same way that a slave owner has the right to emancipate his slaves. At the same time, two other notions

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are common. First, the kindest and best thing a parent can do for his children is to provide what Americans call 'a good time' for them. Second, children these days are so much more sophisticated and advanced that it's absurd for parents to expect their kids to submit to parents who aren't half as sharp as they are. The result of these three fallacies is that parents tend to give up control of their children when they're too young. As soon as the school takes possession of them, the parents loosen up and allow lax discipline, doubt, relaxed manners, and the habit of doing whatever seems right in their own eyes.

It's a tragedy to society and a personal loss to students when they're left to manage themselves with no guidance. They lose the careful moral training that their parents should be giving them throughout the years they're in school and two or three years beyond that. The difficulty is in maintaining the proper parental dignity and avoiding a casual, flippant air to parents, while still maintaining affectionate intimacy, confidence, and friendly fun. This is the secret to managing authority at home--the child needs to be in the role/position of receiver, and the parent fills the role of providing not only physical care and comfort, but careful, regular education to prepare students for living on their own. The problem is that it's difficult to keep up a facade of superiority with children as they get older and begin to pick up their own opinions from people outside the home. Parents can start to feel less intelligent and less admired than other people that their children come in contact

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with. And, being too honest to claim a dignity that they feel unworthy of, parents often descend from their authoritative role and assume a position of equality with their children, hoping that affection and good-will will be enough to get respect from their children.

It's very likely that these parents who feel less worthy are actually more worthy than they realize, but that's not the issue. They've been given an official dignity based on their role, not their personal character. Their role requires them to be superior to their children until their children are old enough to be parents themselves. Parents are given this dignity so that they'll be in a position to teach their children the art of living. A role of authority carries with it a certain dignity that's unconnected with the character of the person filling that role. This is why a judge or bishop who doesn't maintain his role with the appropriate dignity loses the authority he needs to do his job. It's the same with a parent. If he fails to display a proper respectful manner with his children, then he has as good as disgraced himself before them. It's the same for him as it is for the judge or bishop--he loses the authority and respect he needs to teach them the art and science of living. Yet that's his purpose and the reason God placed him in that role.

When parents accept that their relationship with their children isn't just the nature of things but a real role that they were appointed to fill, they'll find it easier to assume the dignity that a person has who represents someone greater than himself. When a parent recognizes that he has a Divine authority behind him, and that he's nothing more than a representative of God Himself, appointed to bring up children under God's government, then he won't doubt himself and act so insecure. He'll treat his role within the family as a sacred trust that he has no right to abdicate or abandon.

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If parents accept and maintain their rightful position as heads of the family, then all the responsibilities and affections that are appropriate for a family flow out of that principle in the same way that light comes from the sun. The parents will be able to show continual tenderness and friendliness to their children without partiality or permissive over-indulgence. Since they expect willing, faithful obedience, they get it. Their children trust them entirely and therefore place their confidence in them and seek their advice. And, of course, they treat their parents with the proper honor and respect. There's a counterfeit kind of dignity that can give the parental role a bad name. A selfish, arbitrary parent can demand a lot from his children but give them very little, treating them like worthless inferiors. Then their children rebel and willfully do the opposite of what the parent wants. But these situations aren't the proper kind of parental role that I'm talking about. Most children won't resist the authority of a parent who consistently and lovingly fills the role of an agent under a higher Authority. Such a parent is respected even more because the child recognizes that his position and authority come from his position as a deputy under a Divine Sovereign.

Even under the best conditions, there are still times when the relationship between parent and child is strained. One of the most challenging of these times is the moment when the child first consciously recognizes that he's a member of the school's republic. This time will require the parent to be especially tactful. Now more than ever, the child needs to be aware of the authority at home so that he knows where he stands and how much he can give to school. 'Oh, Mother, why didn't you make me do it?' said one poor lazy Scottish boy who had fallen into disgrace because he neglected his school work and fell behind. Every student who doesn't feel the pressure of the firm hand of parental authority

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at home has the right to ask that. They have every right to blame their parents for every failure in integrity or capability in their adult life. But it takes more than simply asserting authority, as the wind did in the fable about the man with the cloak who only wrapped it closer around him when the wind tried to force it off with his fierce blowing. It was the sun's gentleness that finally got the cloak off when the man got warm in the sun's rays. Parental authority is most effective when its force is gentle, but without a trace of weakness or laziness. There's no strength in weakness or laziness. But purposeful, determined gentleness that only exerts itself because it's the right thing to do is a parent's supreme strength. 'The servant of God should never strive' wasn't written only for bishops and pastors. It's the secret of strength for every 'overseer' managing a household.

(b) Gratitude Towards Parents--Parents will find that there are some challenging tasks they need to do for their children's sake--tasks that would be difficult between any two people. Even in the familiar, intimate relationship between parent and child, these tasks will require tact and discretion. One of those tasks is fostering gratitude. I don't need to convince anyone that ungratefulness is wrong; even the most ancient writers have always considered it a heinous disgrace. Yet it's human nature to accept benefits as a matter of course to be expected from those who provide the benefits. We tend to overrate what we think we deserve, and we're not likely to consider putting ourselves in someone else's shoes to see things from their perspective, so we fail to see what another person might be sacrificing to be kind to us. Gratitude isn't a trait we're born with. No person owes more to anyone besides his devoted parents. If a person is ever going to develop gratitude, it's only because his parents cultivate a delightful awareness of their love and never-failing kindness towards him.

It's sad but true--children are so oblivious

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that they don't think any more of their parents' kindness to them as a personal benefit than they think of sunshine or flowers or any of life's other gifts. Perhaps a mother stays up until midnight patching her sons' blue jeans, but she doesn't mention it. The next day her sons pull on their jeans and hardly even notice whether their jeans have holes or not. But 'it's horrible to always be reminding children about those kinds of things, telling them, See how much work I did for you? I hope you'll remember this and do as much for me.' Yes, that is horrible, and it's also risky. That sort of thing only irritates the child and cancels any sense of debt he might have felt. But a gentle comment about 'those huge holes that kept me up till midnight fixing,' or 'Don't worry about it, dear--I love doing things for you,' sinks deep. A child is hardly worth his weight if he doesn't take such comments to heart and vow to buy clothes, jewels and fine things for his mother 'when I grow up!' If it's ever necessary to make sacrifices and do without for the sake of the children, let them know about it, but don't reproach them about it. Don't act like it's a hardship, but as if it's a pleasure to do it for them. In other words, it's fine to let children know about the services done for them and sacrifices made for them as a show of love, in the same way that a child gives a flower to his mother, but never as a demand or expectation for service.

(c) Kindness and Courtesy--It's the same with all of the other qualities of love--kindness, courtesy, friendliness. Parents must develop these things in their children without demanding them. These things should come out of the love they have. Make opportunities for the child to serve, work, and give. Let the child feel that his own kindness has the power to affect his parents. I know of one girl who never had the realization that

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she had any power within herself to gratify her mother until she was into her teens! Don't let children neglect the common little courtesies and details of daily life--putting a chair back in its proper position, standing aside or letting someone go first when it's appropriate, being alert to needs at the table, being polite about listening and answering questions or following instructions. Let children feel like neglecting these things is hurtful to those who love them, but taking the trouble to do them is as warming and cheering as sunshine. Then if they sometimes don't do these things, it will be because they simply forgot, not because they're unwilling or because they consider such little details a 'trivial waste of time about formalities.'

In the same way, there should be a continual flow of friendliness, politeness, warm looks and kind words between the parent and child. Let the child understand that a bright, cheerful, 'Good morning, Mom!' is like sunshine to her, but a cold greeting given without even looking at her is like putting a cloud between his mother and the sun. Parents often let these things slide because they're not willing to confront the child and demand the respect that's owed them. But they shouldn't look at it that way. It's more than just a personal matter. Wordsworth wrote an illuminating little poem that illustrates what I'm talking about:

'A change has come that's made me poor--
Only recently your love
Was like a fountain flowing right by my doorstep,
And its only concern was to flow.
And it did flow, not even noticing
How much it could spare, or how much I already had.

'What happy days I had then!
I was so blessed, and so happy!
But now, instead of that wonderful fountain
Full of bubbling, sparkling love,
What do I have? All that's left
Is a cold, hidden well.

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It may be still full of love, it may be deep,
I'm sure it is, and it's never dry--
But what does that matter? If the waters sleep
And are silent and still,
That change that happened right at the doorstep
Of my loving heart has made me poor.'

Within every child is a fountain of love,

'whose only concern is to flow.'

It's the parents' job to make sure the fountain stays unsealed and unchoked so that it can always flow with kindness, friendliness, courtesy, gratitude, obedience, and service. If the fountain continues to flow, it won't just make the parents' hearts happy, although they're the first ones that the fountain flow reaches. But even people around them will be affected--family, friends, relatives, schoolmates, neighbors, people in need, and the world. But if the fountain is allowed to get choked before its flow reaches even the parents, then the fountain is probably lost, and is a mere buried well of love. So how can parents keep the fountain flowing? Wordsworth's poem gives some suggestion. Children should understand the joy that each act of their love brings, and they should witness the cloud that falls on the parent's heart when they hold back their love. Parents' natural restraint and pride can make them tend to take the abundance of their child's affection for granted, and not let on when their neglect to perform some common courtesy hurts their feelings. But, for the children's sake, parents shouldn't be afraid to let their children know how they feel. Children should be allowed to see how their parents feel about them. Parents need to do this because no academic or religious education can teach as much as the education that teaches the power of love.

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Another thing to remember is that love doesn't grow by what it gets, but by what it gives. That's why students should never get out of the habit of doing services out of love. It's dangerous to confuse real love with affection. Affection is mostly an animal emotion. It shows itself in fawning, sentimental displays, such as 'Mother Darling,' or 'Dear Father.' Real love might be manifested with affectionate words and hugs, but that's not its foundation. Real love shows itself in acts of service. Little children are naturally affectionate, always ready to give and receive hugs, and showing affection in their own individual ways. But older children are self-conscious and more reserved. At this awkward stage of their lives, they require lots of tact and tenderness from their parents. Channels of service, friendliness and obedience need to be kept open since those are paths for the love that the children are less inclined to show with physical affection.

The Awkward Age

This period of awkwardness is a critical stage in the child's life. For the first time, they're so focused on the concept of their own rights that they overlook their own obligations. They're too preoccupied with their fair share to be concerned with what they owe others. 'That's not right,' 'It's not fair,' 'It's too bad,' are muttered to themselves even when they don't dare say such words out loud. Yet their view is aggravatingly unreasonable, and so one-sided that adults have a hard time seeing the logic. But, while their behavior is frustrating, it doesn't indicate a moral weakness. They're simply looking at it more from the perspective of justice than reason. Their claims could usually be

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granted if their side was the only one to consider. What they need is to be made as aware of the rights of others as they are of their own. When their reason has been cultivated, they'll be able to weigh their rights against the rights of the other person. Their aggressive pursuing of their fair share isn't naughtiness. They need to be approached from the level they're at. The parent needs to be careful not to offend the child's exaggerated sense of justice in all that pertains to them. They should receive all of the rights that are truly theirs. When they're obviously mistaken, the parents should try hard to convince them without being harsh about it.

Meanwhile, the parents also need to deal with the attitude that tempts the child to declare, 'I won't!' if he dared to say it out loud. He must be approached through his affections. The very feelings of offended justice that seem so offensive when he's focused on himself and complains, 'it isn't fair!' are the same feelings that are beautiful and good when they're channeled in the right direction, towards justice and kindness for others. This change of focus isn't just possible: it's easy and pleasant for parents to bring about. The passion for justice is already there, and love is there, too, although it's become an exaggerated form of self-love because its focus is on self and its own rights--to the exclusion of other people. It's a fact of life that a person's affection will flow in the direction of whatever his attention is focused on.

One way to effect this kind of change is to impress upon children that the household's happiness is a sacred trust in which every member has some control. A child who comes to dinner with a sullen face temporarily destroys the happiness of the whole family in the same way that holding your hand close to your eyes will block out all of the sun's light. What's the secret of having happiness

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every day? Is it special treats? Success? Exciting entertainment? No, it's constant friendly looks and tones of voice in the people around us. It's their interest, support and help in what we're doing. It's their service and their compassion when we're in need or trouble. A home can't be happy if even one member allows himself to have irritable moods and rude behavior. Little by little, the children will become more aware of how fragile the home's moral atmosphere is. They'll realize that, like a rare and expensive vase, even a single day's happiness can be destroyed by a thoughtless action or clumsy word. And, as a result, their attention will be taken off themselves and their rights and focused on a brother or sister, father or mother, friend or neighbor. Even a small thing like a friendly look can contribute to the happiness of any one of these.

We naturally feel more affection for people we can give happiness to. But a child who feels like he makes no difference to his family will give his heart to his dog. After all, he thinks, at least Prince's happiness depends on him. That's why Lord Lytton said, 'I think it's wrong to let children have a dog. It makes them less inclined to be available to people.' Let your child have a pet, but make sure he knows how many people he can bring momentary happiness to with even a pleasant word. Benevolence means finding pleasure in giving happiness, and it's a stream that grows deeper and wider as it flows. When a child realizes that he really can make a difference in his home, he'll start seeking opportunities. He won't miss a hint about what his father or sister would like. He won't find it difficult to be accommodating or considerate if he chooses to do it on his own instead of being nagged into it. One kind produces more of the same kind. As he shows kindness, people will respond to him favorably, returning his kindness. Soon kindness will be abundantly overflowing from him and to him. He'll begin to focus on others and their concerns and rights instead of his own.

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His passion for justice will be redirected into demanding fair play for others. He won't allow anyone to speak unfavorably about others in their absence. He won't assume negative intent, or quickly accuse someone else of unworthy behavior. He'll be fair in assessing other people's conduct, character and reputation. He'll be able to put himself in someone else's shoes without anyone suggesting it. He'll judge others in the same way he'd like to be judged himself.

'Teach me to feel another person's sadness
And to overlook the faults I see in others.
The mercy that I extend to others,
Please extend to me.'

That will be his attitude and unsaid prayer. His good-will and kindness won't only reach out to the needs of others, but will also result in patience when others are irritable, and nobleness in forgiving others when they offend him. His habits of kind, friendly deeds will slowly develop into principles, and then into real character, so that he gains a reputation as a virtuous person. There's not a lot that parents can do to produce this wonderful result beyond keeping the channels open, and directing the streams of their child's thoughts. They can make their child aware of the needs and rights of others, and from time to time, suggest the different ways in which the happiness of others depends on him. I don't think I need to mention that using such phrases as, 'Look out for number one,' or, 'Nobody else is going to protect your own interests but you,' or, 'You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours,' or, 'Tit for tat, I'll pay him back for that offense,' will obstruct the wellspring of others-first attitudes. Does that mean that all of moral education boils down to developing the child's affections? Yes! It just confirms the same old lesson,

'In the same way that every color of the rainbow is really only light,
Every grace and virtue is really only love.'

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Home Training - 4: Religious

In discussing the religious education of children, my goal is to remind parents how beautiful and powerful the holy life of a youth is. Our expectations are too low both for our children and ourselves. The goal we aim for is lower than what many blessed children attain to, in their own childish way--a life that's 'holy, harmless, undefiled, and separate from sinners.'

'The person who aims for a star
Shoots a lot higher
Than the person who only aims for a tree.'

The few suggestions I'll make, just like the other educational suggestions I've made, are things that conscientious mothers are already doing.

First of all, 'every word of God' is the diet of the spiritual life, and those words speak to us more clearly during moments that we set apart for collecting ourselves, reading ad praying. In children, these moments tend to be elusive and rushed. It's a good idea to plan the free time they need right into their schedule, perhaps a quiet twenty minutes every evening. And that time should be scheduled when it's not too late because the sleepy time at the very end of the day isn't a good time for the day's most serious matter. I've seen it work well where children have the habit of disappearing for little while in the early evening before the night's fun or work, when their minds are still alert.

Remember, the Christian life is supposed to be a progressive life. A child shouldn't feel that his spiritual life is like a door on hinges, swinging back and forth over the same thing. New and specific goals, thoughts and things to pray for should be presented weekly, so that

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'something ventured, something done' might give him courage. Or, if failures are discouraging him, it might inspire him with the hope of success. Even people who aren't members of the [Anglican] Church of England will find some help in that church's Sunday Collects, Epistles and Gospels. They give youths specific subjects to reflect on every week. It's unrealistic to think that anyone could ever live up to all there is in those weekly readings in their lifetime, but it's nice for students who are still at the beginning of their Christian journey to have the peaceful sense of being led step by step towards spiritual progress. I don't mean that this should replace wider Bible reading. But it could be used to give a specific focus for reflection and prayer each week, along with other prayers and prayer needs that come up in the course of their week. Bringing these readings and their related scripture passages home will provide opportunities for a few sincere discussions that won't be forgotten any time soon. This in itself is useful, because it can be difficult to bring up the most important topics with the people we live with, especially when they're youths.

Just one more thing. When it comes to how to spend Sundays with the family, don't let children feel confined by narrow, old traditions. Let them know the basic principle that what's right on Saturday doesn't become wrong on Sunday, but it isn't always the best thing. It's special for Sunday to have its own restful activities, and we should be as reluctant to give them up for the grind of everyday tasks or common entertainments as a student would be to give up his two-week break for more school lessons. Even selfish interests like health, comfort and convenience aren't worth sacrificing the physical, mental and spiritual rest

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that Sunday's change of thought and activity brings.

Once the principle of Sunday-keeping is understood, make it something pleasant. Let Sunday be an enjoyable day, with everyone in their best mood and using their gentlest manners. Set aside all worries and anxieties for the sake of the children. 'Vain deluding mirth' might not be acceptable, but there should still be light hearts and good-natured conversation.

Sunday should have its own special activities and entertainments. Reading aloud from the same book for an hour every Sunday, using a powerful, interesting text can make the afternoon refreshing. Whatever book is selected should give the family members some pleasant intellectual stimulus to chew on.

A little bit of poetry should be fit in, since there's time to digest it on Sunday. Religious poets like George Herbert, Vaughan and Keble are good, but don't neglect any poet who nourishes the heart with wise thoughts and who doesn't disturb the day's peaceful atmosphere with too much stir of life and passion. The whole point of Sunday's readings and activities is to keep the heart peaceful and the mind alert, receptive and open to any holy impression that might come from heaven, whether it comes while outside walking in the fields, or sitting inside by the fire. Sundays aren't for us to spend striving and working to get close to God in church or at home. It's okay for us to rest physically and spiritually, as long as we don't let ourselves get too distracted to be open to divine influences that come in unexpected ways. This is the attitude we need to keep in mind as we select storybooks to read on Sunday. Any pure, thoughtful character study or sincere biography will help to lift our thoughts towards God, even if His name isn't mentioned anywhere in the book. But tales full of gossipy affairs and the whirl of society, or passionate romances, are unfit for Sunday reading.

It's not a good idea to give children twaddly, 'too good to be true'

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stories. They'll come to detest these books, and then they'll blame the weakness of these kinds of books on Christianity. Music is a great way to make Sundays pleasant, but, in the same way, music that's associated with passion and tension should be avoided. It shouldn't be difficult to find something suitable, since the greatest works of the best composers were written for the church.

'A broad-minded soul produces broad-minded things' is a safe guideline to follow once the principle of Sunday rest's meaning and purpose is recognized. I'm spending more time on this subject because the issue of how to spend Sundays will come up for discussion between parents and their growing children.

Home Culture: Books

Parents have to abandon any attempts at academic training once their children start school, but they can still provide intellectual culture. If students don't get that at home, they won't get it at all. When I say intellectual culture, I'm not talking about acquiring knowledge or even learning how to learn. I'm talking about cultivating the ability to appreciate and enjoy whatever is true, noble, right and beautiful, both in thought and the way it's expressed. For example, a person might read,

'He lay along
Under an oak whose old root poked up
In the brook running through these woods.
Here a poor hunted, secluded deer
That had been wounded from a hunter's arrow
Came to die.' [adapted from Shakespeare, As You Like It]

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and that person might miss everything except the four main details--the man laying down, the oak tree, the brook, and the wounded deer. But someone else can read those exact same words and get, not only those main details, but something else. He gets a delicious mental picture, and a sense of exquisite pleasure in the words used to convey this image. Assuming everything else is equal, the second person gets a hundred times more enjoyment than the first one. It's as if he has a sixth sense, an extra avenue of pleasure that adds to every hour of his life. If the purpose of life is to get rich rather than to enjoy the satisfaction of living, then people can live just fine without intellectual culture. But if we're supposed to make the most of life as our years go on, then we have a responsibility to enable our children to get this enjoyment.

It requires teaching. Some children inherit an inborn love for literature and take to books as naturally as ducks take to water. But delighting in a fine thought excellently expressed isn't something we're born with. And it's not the kind of thing that schools usually teach. The goal of most schools is to turn out young adults who know the specific information needed for the various things they'll run into in their lives, and who are clever enough to be eligible for promotion. That's the goal most schools aspire to, and that's the goal they usually accomplish. But academic scholars claim that a classical education can do more. It can turn out youths with cultivated, trained intellects who don't miss any refined thought but are well-balanced enough to be ready for action. Unfortunately, the rush and stress of our lives, and the demand for more useful information are squeezing out classical culture! Parents will have to determine not only to supplement any moral training that the schools leave out, but to provide intellectual culture, since, without it, knowledge may

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mean power, but not pleasure or the means to enjoy life.

Sir John Lubbock had some wise and amusing things to say about light, casual reading--it's a mild form of intellectual distraction that does more harm than we realize. There are lots of people who would never bother to read a certain type of novel, even if it's brilliant, but they love reading endless twaddle. No book is too shallow or too unsubstantial to read for their amusement. The superficial kind of books that airport bookstores sell is characteristic. Not everyone reads such twaddle, but the abundance of this kind of literature shows how few of us really read. This defect begins in early childhood. As soon as the child starts reading, all kinds of 'helpful' people show an interest in him by offering him a colorful, amusing picture book. A colorful, amusing book isn't necessarily high-quality children's literature. It usually just means that the text is broken up into short paragraphs with lots of conversation. Then come amusing chapter books for elementary-aged kids, and, when these are outgrown, the lightest books from Charles Edward Mudie's 'Select Library.' The supply of amusing books never ends, even in adulthood. And, thus, we have no time to attempt books that challenge our intellect, and we never develop the ability to assimilate and digest knowledge. We become as soft and lazy as a schoolgirl who eats nothing but cheesecake. Sir Walter Scott seems as boring and dry as dust, and even Charles Kingsley takes more effort than we're willing to expend. Although we have the skills to decode text, we remain poor readers for our entire lives. I doubt this is true for anyone reading my words right now, and I'm like a pastor preaching against drunkenness and stealing to the congregation while the drunks and thieves who need to hear the message are out on the streets. But the problem of poor reading habits is contagious, and even children of parents who read aren't safe.

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Monitor your young's child's library. Don't allow any book that doesn't have true literary quality. It's fine for children to just have a few excellent books read over and over again, a few really good books, but none that require no mental effort. They won't be deprived. Activity and effort, whether physical or mental, is a stimulating joy to a child. People in previous generations who went from Robinson Crusoe to Sir Walter Scott didn't find the mental diet too rich for them. I doubt that any eleven-year-old girl with an unlimited supply of books has ever experienced the enthusiastic delight that I did as I crouched by the fire, clasping my knees and listening, as I've never listened since, as Sir Walter Scott's Anne of Geierstein or The Maiden of the Mist was read aloud. For some reason, I've never gone back and re-read the story, but to this day, no sensory impressions have ever been quite as vivid as those masked faces, the sinking floor, the strange trial, or the cold bright Alpine village described in that book. And no moral impression has ever been stronger than the impression made by Philip's respectful treatment of his father. Maybe the impression made later by the Heir of Redclyffe [by Charlotte Yonge] comes close. But it's different today. Children's books used to be few and dull, but today there are lots of entertaining, amusing children's books.

While we're on this subject, I'd like to say something about storytelling. Here are some of the points to study that make a story worth telling to young listeners nestled and waiting to hear a tale: charming, artistic details, noble moral impulse expressed with a definite yet subtle touch, sincere human affection, sweet, imaginative link between children and the world of nature, humor, tragedy, good-natured [not mean-spirited] satire, and, last but not least, a story that doesn't turn on children or

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awaken self-consciousness. The dawning of self-consciousness in a child might be his individual 'fall of mankind' and realization of sin. But children won't be able to grasp such literature, will they? No, but make it a rule that no story, or part of a story, will ever be explained. Once you've sown the seed, leave it alone to germinate in its own time and in the child's own way.

Every parent should have his own collection of stories to tell. A dozen is enough, but they need to be beautiful stories told beautifully. Children won't put up with variations. They'll express justified irritation: 'You left out the way the lady's gown rustled, Mom!' Children won't listen to even a suggestion that the story they live in might be nothing more than the 'baseless fabric of a vision.' For the first five or six years of a child's life, put away all books and readalouds. The endless stream of story books and scenes shifting like a parade in front of the child's mind, is like mental and moral indulgence. It doesn't provide him with anything to grow on, and it leaves no time for him to reflect on what he takes in. It goes against his nature, too. 'Tell us about the little boy who put his finger in the dike and saved Harlaam!' Children who know that story, which is the most hero-making of all tales, ask to hear it again and again! And that's another advantage of story-telling over book-reading. With books, it's easy come, easy go. But if you have to study a story because you intend it to be a substantial part of your child's early literary diet, then you'll be as selective about choosing stories as a merchant seeking the finest pearls. Also, when a story is read, the parent is nothing more than a middleman. But when the story is told, it becomes like nourishment that's provided first-hand from the parent like breast milk. Wise parents who have seen their children's wide eyes as they listened and pondered an often-told story could tell us how true this is. But remember that story-telling is like breast

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milk. Eventually the child outgrows it and needs to read, learn and digest for himself. While we're talking about very young children who haven't started school work yet, I'd like to bring up a rather important subject.

We're pathetic when it comes to catch-phrases. There are not many more than a dozen that are currently popular, and, of these, most people use only one or two in their daily, routine conversation. A person might say that a cup of tea, or a dress, or a picture or book, or a person, is 'nice,' or 'perfect,' or 'lovely,' or 'terrific,' depending on who's talking, rather than on what he's talking about. Sometimes adverbs modify the statement: something might be 'nice' or 'really nice' or 'wonderfully nice,' but that just makes the niceness stronger; it doesn't add any variety. One person might say that everything he likes is 'so nice,' while someone else simply calls them 'nice.' Generally, things and people each have some distinctive quality. To recognize what it is and be able to express it with the most fitting word is proof of a kind of genius, or else the highest kind of cultural training. 'The abysmal question regarding the condition of East London': even if nobody had known that the person who said that was a man of fair-minded opinions, extensive knowledge and intimately familiar with current issues, those few words from a short conversation would have made it obvious. The perfectly appropriate use of the word 'abysmal' gave him away. Young children often surprise us with their fitting and elegant phrases. If we encourage this natural ability that children have by exposing them to good words and by discouraging the constant use of words like, 'nice,' or 'great,' then we'll not only make our children well-prepared to shine in society, but we'll also

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be helping to preserve the treasures of the beautiful English language that have been passed down from our ancestors. It might be useful to look up some good, sturdy Saxon words and phrases from writers of the 1500's and 1600's to use everyday. Many can be found in Milton's works alone. In his hymn that begins,

'Let us with a gladsome mind,'

there are a half dozen great adjectives that are used in an original way, and half a dozen that are used nowhere else but in that hymn, at least in the form they're used there. It would seem artificial for us to casually talk about the 'golden-tressed sun,' but using a word like 'gladsome' in our routine speaking is worth the effort. Or, how about the phrase 'happy-making' from Milton's wonderful poem, On Time--could there be a more perfect word for our best occasions?

Letter-Writing

Is it true that the charming habit of letter-writing is a lost art with the advent of postcards and email? Sir Richard de Coverley would probably say, 'There's a lot to be said on both sides.' At any rate, if we don't write letters, we can't blame postcards and email [but we might be justified in blaming the telephone!] But letter-writing hasn't totally disappeared. Don't we all have some friend whose letters are delightful because of their flowing ripple of talk, with just enough little touches of affection and intimacy to make the letter personal? Don't we all know what it's like to open an envelope with the certainty that we'll find pure delight in every line? Is it because we love the sender so much? Not necessarily. The morning mail might bring a letter from an unknown writer that will captivate you and

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fill you with a sense of well-being that lasts the whole day. And it isn't just because of the content of the text, but because the gracious tact of the letter makes you feel good about the world. One person can turn down a request, and another can accept it--yet the way in which the refusal is expressed might please you more than the favor from the other person.

That's because thoughtfulness is the secret ingredient that gives a gracious letter its lovely flavor. If our letters aren't as charming as the ones written by our grandparents, could it be because we don't think highly enough of each other to make a spontaneous outpouring of our thoughts on paper worth the bother? Children whose parents live in India usually write and receive interesting letters because the parents and children are happy to make the most of the only opportunity they have to get to know each other. Possibly no opportunity to write a detailed, lively letter should be allowed to pass. Let children grow up with the concept that it's worth the effort to write good letters. One schoolboy's entire collection of letters home one term was made up of two postcards that read, 'Okay.' and 'Which flight?' That's not a good model of letter-writing, although it's a great example to prove that brevity is the soul of wit!

Reading Aloud

There's not much opportunity to provide intellectual culture for a child who's preoccupied with school and its happenings. That's all the more reason to make the most of what little time there is. After all, when the child graduates, his character and habits will be pretty much set. It won't be easy for him to start thinking and doing things differently. It's up to the parent to keep the paths open to the pleasant places that are provided for his wearied mind. Few things are better for this than a family

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habit of reading aloud together. Even a dry book can be enjoyable when everyone shares in the listening, and a powerful, fascinating book becomes pure joy when family members' eyes meet at the most dramatic moments. Reading Thackeray's The Newcomes to yourself is like sitting down to a feast of strawberries and cream all by yourself. Every page has something that begs to be shared.

There aren't many family bonds stronger than the habit of occasionally spending an hour reading aloud, at least in the evenings during the winter. Readaloud evenings are pleasant while they're actually happening, and they make warm memories to look back on fondly. They provide opportunities for fun, stimulating conversation, and they strengthen the bond that the family shares because they're all sharing the same intellectual experience. It's hard to understand why any family would neglect such a simple way to have fun and share moral and intellectual culture. But the practice of reading aloud isn't something that can be started and stopped whenever the whim hits. Once the habit is dropped, it's difficult to get it started again because everyone will have found his own intellectual pursuit on his own, although it may not be worthwhile, and it will make him unwilling to listen to the family book. Don't let that happen. Let an hour every winter evening be spent reading aloud--or, one or two evenings a week, any way, and then everyone will look forward to it in the same way that a hungry child looks forward to his dinner.

In order for reading to be enjoyable for those listening, the person reading needs to be clear, relaxed, and getting into the book himself. And here's another thing that parents should do for their children because nobody else will teach them the habit of reading aloud for others to enjoy from the time they can read at all fluently. Besides indistinct and careless

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pronunciation, probably the two most annoying faults in a reader are not knowing what's coming next so that the next sentence is stumbled over, and too much gasping in the sentence so that the effect sounds like a fish out of water.

That last fault is easy to cure. Never breathe through the mouth while reading aloud, always breathe through the nose. If the mouth is closed while a breath is inhaled through the nostrils, then enough air can be taken in to fill the lungs and provide air for the reader. If too much air is taken in by both the nose and mouth, then it gets inconvenient as the reader has to relieve himself by gasping.

A stumbling reader spoils the book simply from a lack of focus. He should train himself to look ahead and always be a line ahead of where he's reading so that he can prepare himself for what comes next. Faults in enunciating need to be dealt with one at a time. For example, one week the reader might work on making the 'd' sound at the end of words like 'and.' The other letters will take care of themselves, and, the less they're heard, the better. In fact, if the reader is careful to pronounce the final consonants in words, especially d, t and ng, then the reading will sound distinct and polished.

Another advantage of family readalouds is that it gives parents an opportunity to catch and correct local dialects. Although people are often interested in preserving local accents and dialects for the sake if history, they don't usually want it preserved in their children! As far as everything else, practice makes perfect. Let every family member who can read fluently take a night or a week to do the reading aloud, and make sure each one understands that the family's enjoyment depends on him reading well.

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Selecting Books for Family Evenings

Creating a booklist of texts that would work for family discussions would be a hopeless task, and it's unnecessary. But what I can do is to discuss some principles to help in making those selections. First of all, obtaining information is not the purpose of family readalouds. The purpose is to familiarize young people with what a real book is and give them a taste for good literature--in other words, works that have so much literary value that they deserve to be read and treasured for their literary merit alone, no matter what subject the book is about.

This rule eliminates the books found in ninety percent of our homes, where books are likely to be funny or moralistic twaddling stories, or trashy novels, or mediocre writing in every subject from general literature to history, or compilations of data and condensed biographical outlines, which contain useful information. None of these qualify for family evening readalouds. In fact, the less they're read at all, the better. A set of good encyclopedias is a valuable treasure of information and should be referenced to clarify any difficulty that comes up in general reading. Information looked up in a reference at the moment it's needed will be remembered, but it's no good to read only to collect information.

Next, the book should be as interesting, entertaining or exciting as possible, but it shouldn't be too profound. Students who have been working all day need some relaxation. It's tragic that some students never hear the Waverley Novels read aloud in their childhood. Nothing in the course of their adult lives can ever make up for the delight of growing up knowing Peveril of the Peak, Meg Merrilees,

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Johnathan Oldbuck, that Master of Ravenswood, Caleb Baiderstone, and all the rest of Scott's characters. Every page is like a lesson in living righteously and having gentlemanlike feelings. But novels aren't the only possibility. Well-written travel books are always fun. And the best of all are good biographies of interesting people. I'm not talking about one of those single volumes of 'Eminent' people [probably a series of popular biographies?] I mean a big two-volume book that gives you time to really become familiar with the person.

Important historical works should be saved for school vacations, but historical and literary essays by educated scholars can be great fun. There's no need to rush. Evening readings shouldn't have any pressure attached to them. The important thing isn't to read lots of books; it's more important to limit selections to only great books, and to read them so easily and casually that those who hear take them to heart and make them their own intellectual property for life.

Introducing a child to a great author should warrant a little bit of ceremony. I don't know whether John Ruskin, for example, causes as much excitement anymore as it did to intelligent students when I was young, but the first time reading John Ruskin's The Crown of Wild Olive [four lectures about work, traffic, war and the future of England] still probably marks an important period in a young person's life.

One more point--it's a hopeless and unnecessary task to try to keep up with current literature. Later, it might be necessary to make some attempt to stay current with new books as they're published, but during a child's youth, he should be allowed to spend his leisure on standard, classic authors whose durability has weathered at least twenty years of criticism and acclaim.

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Poetry as a Way to Culture

Poetry is the most superior means of intellectual culture. Goethe said that we should see a good picture, hear some good music, and read some good poetry every day. A little poetry should make up part of the family evening readings. Poetry 'collections' should be avoided; instead, one poet should have at least a year to himself to give him time to do what he can to cultivate the seeing eye, the hearing ear, and the generous heart.

Sir Walter Scott, in poetry just like in literature, should be an early choice, partly because of the youthful enthusiasm of his poetry. Also, his poems tell a lively story, and that has more appeal for youths. Cowper [pronounced Cooper] doesn't tell as many stories, but many students are able to enjoy him at the same age that they begin to appreciate Scott. The careful, truthful word-painting that Cowper uses in The Task isn't hidden beneath poetic fancies, so it seems to appeal to matter-of-fact young minds. It's also satisfying to know poetry that has frequent opportunities to be verified:

'Now from the roost, or from the nearby stake,
Came trooping, at the farm-wife's familiar call,
The domestic feathered tribes--'

Anyone who has ever lived in the country has witnessed that. Oliver Goldsmith and some others might be possibilities as well as Cowper, if the opportunity arises. Milton is sublime, but not as helpful at developing culture in the 'uneducated or ignorant,' as some less well-known poets are. Milton gets out of reach, into scholarly and fanciful regions that youths aren't able to follow. Yet Milton should still be

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read--the mere attempt to follow his 'high themes' is a cultural education in itself. Christopher North [Scottish essayist and reviewer, real name John Wilson; the quote 'Music is the universal language of mankind' is his] is right when he says that good music and fine poetry don't need to be fully understood to be enjoyed:

'Together, both of us, before the green hills were visible
Under the dawn's morning light,
We drove out in the fields and we both heard
At the time of day when the botfly blows her horn,
Covering our flocks with fresh evening dew,
Often until the star that rose in the evening
Had sloped his west-turned wheel towards heaven's descent--' [from Milton's Lycidas]

Any youth who carries those kinds of melodious, poetic lines will be less likely to be swept away with flashy, shallow poems. Some of the quotes from Lycidas alone are an education in developing a sense for poetry.

Many people feel that Wordsworth is the best poet to read and grow up with. He, perhaps more than any other English poet of the 1800's, has proved that he has a power, and that power is a power for good. He's able to make things that are true, pure and simple seem teachable, and to make emotional and spiritual things accessible.

The adventures of Una and her reluctant but finally victorious knight provide great mental food for the imagination, noble teaching of a spiritual kind, and great culture for developing the poetic sense. It's a tragic loss to grow up without ever having read and dreamed over Spencer's Faerie Queene.

There's no room to even take a brief look at the few poets who should have a share in cultivating the mind. After the fields of the mind have been plowed and broken up, the seed will 'take' by a process of natural selection. One poet might draw a few devotees here, another poet might draw some there. The parent's role is to bring their children's minds under the influence of the highest, purest poetic thought there is. As far

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as Coleridge, Keats, Shelley and other 'lords of language,' it's fine to introduce them later and see whether the student takes to them [after years of developing a taste for poetry].

What about Shakespeare? By no means should he be thrown in and alternated as if he were just another poet. He might very well be considered the daily bread of the intellect. Shakespeare can't be studied in a year. He needs to be read continuously for a lifetime from age ten and forever after. 'But,' you might protest, 'a child of ten can't understand Shakespeare!' No, but then, neither can a grown man of fifty. That great poet is like an abundant feast, and everyone who sits down to it receives according to what he needs, and leaves whatever isn't to his liking. A little girl nine years old told me the other day that she had only read one of Shakespeare's plays all the way through, and that was A Midsummer Night's Dream. I doubt she understood all of it, but she must have found enough to entertain and interest her. Perhaps, as a family activity, there could be a monthly reading of a Shakespeare play, with everyone taking a different character, for two or three evenings, until the play is finished. Shakespeare evenings would begin to be anticipated as family fiestas, and as the plays are read again and again, year after year, they'd yield more with each reading. And in the end, they would leave behind rich deposits of wisdom in the children's minds.

I don't need to add anything about the later great poets [modern poets, in CM's day?]--Robert Browning, Tennyson, and anyone else who stands above the crowd. Each of them will attract his own following of young fans from those youths who have had their poetic sense cultivated. It's up to parents to develop this ability to appreciate poetry, but it's not their job to decide which poets their children should prefer.

Those are my suggestions for family evening reading, which will be enough to develop the kind of intellectual culture I have

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in mind. With the right book, and the whole family sharing it together, and casual discussion about it, the rest will take care of itself.

Evening readings should be fun rather than a challenge that demands rigorous mental effort. School vacations, on the other hand, are too long to waste on mental dawdling. Every Christmas and summer vacation should be characterized by a family reading of some great work of literary reputation, whether it's history, or simply beautiful, light works. Reading and discussing a book like this every day during the vacation will add more meaning and cohesiveness to the child's school work. It will keep the mind alert with some intellectual activity, and add a bit of spice to the general fun and relaxation of the vacation.

Still, I have to admit--when it comes to reading, this kind of spoon-feeding isn't really the best thing. It would be even better for youths to seek out their own interests in reading, with their parents merely keeping a watchful eye on their choices. But the reality is that students are so busy with living that they don't usually read anymore. It's possible that a course of meat cut up and spoon-fed to them will help guide them through a time of life when their own mental digestion is weak, and steer them towards finding their own intellectual nourishment.

Mealtime Conversation

The kind of books the family reads aloud will influence the kinds of discussions they have around the table. But, considering how little parents see of their children once they start school, it seems like a good idea for me to mention that meal-time provides an ideal opportunity for parents to influence their children's opinions. Everyone agrees that lively conversation at the dinner table is necessary

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for good health. No one thinks it's okay for a family member to sit down to a meal in such a bad mood that he's absorbed in his own sullen thoughts and doesn't have a word to say to the others at the table. But conversation at meals isn't only something fun and refreshing. The life choices of many youths have been influenced by some chance comment at home over dinner. Just watch the eager way that youths latch onto every remark the adults make about politics, books, other people, and you'll see that they're actually trying to construct a chart to direct their lives with. They want to know what to do, yes, but they also want to know what to think about everything.

Parents sometimes forget that it's up to them to provide reasons for sound, fair opinions about lots of issues that concern us as human beings and as members of society. But these same parents who forget their duty are then shocked and dismayed when their teens express radical views that they picked up from some 'enlightened' member of their peer group. But their children will have opinions one way or the other. The right to make up his own mind and choose his own opinions is one of the points that youths insist on.

A few parents are unfair in this area. It isn't just the right of beings whose intelligence is growing to consider the facts it comes across and to come to conclusions about them--it's their duty. The assumption that parents have a right to think for their children and to pass on their own mirror opinions about literature, art, proper behavior and ethics is extremely irritating to youths. Headstrong teens resent it openly, while more easy-going, compliant youths avoid discussing it and make up their own minds about it without saying anything outright. Some people say that youths aren't wise enough to be allowed to form sound opinions because they don't have the knowledge or the experience that should guide them. That's true, and they're

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aware of that. That's why they hang on every word of adults they respect for anything that might help them to adjust their views about life and the world. Here's where parents have a great opportunity. Young people won't accept ready-made opinions telling them what to think, so keep yours to yourself. Instead, present the facts in their best, most complete light, and let the youths draw their own conclusions. The more you withhold your own opinions, the more eager they'll be to draw them out of you. As far as they're concerned, people are divided into two groups--good and bad. People's actions are either cold-hearted or good. Events are either blessings or misfortunes. They haven't matured enough to develop a philosophic mind. They end up being severe judges and have no concept of a middle-of-the-road perspective.

This period of a youth's life--the time when he feels compelled to have an opinion about every subject under the sun--is a critical period. It's a turning point in the lives of many youths, for better or worse. At this point in their lives, they'll find someone who will be their confidante, and this person is the one who will mold their opinions. Many mothers can pinpoint a moment when their child came under the influence of a specific person and got into worthless or evil things. Cultivating judgment in the immature mind of a teen is one of the most delicate tasks that parents have. The parent can't be arbitrary, as we've already discussed. He can't neglect this task. He can't be preachy, because teens can't stand being preached to. The parent needs to be open-minded, gentle, fair, inclined to listen patiently, and more prone to praise than to blame. At the same time, the parent needs to remain uncompromising in matters of principle, quick to spot error, ready to forgive without excusing, and ready to accept the good points of a person who shows a fault in character.

That last thing is very important. Youths have strictly defined

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boundaries and, when they're with someone they thought was so wrong and discover that he's not as evil as he was led to believe, they decide that he's a decent person after all, and that all the terrible things they heard before must have been slanderous lies. This is what happens in half of the harmful friendships that teens form. But if, instead, they had heard something like, 'So-and-so is a bold girl; she's honest and easy to get along with, but the reckless, lawless things she does make her an unsuitable companion,' then they'll feel differently. In this case, the girl has had a fair assessment, so there's no temptation to seek out her friendship.

If it's the parents' role to provide reasonable grounds for rational opinions about people, trends, books and events, when does the time come to discuss these things? Any time they happen to talk, or are in the presence of their children, and especially at the dinner table. Random opportunities will come up, but mealtime is an opportunity that can be counted on. Once I spent an evening with a wise, educated man. We had lots of interesting things to talk about until he unfortunately said, 'I jotted down such-and-such as a subject we might talk about.' That spoiled it. Yet the concept isn't a bad one. Parents should make themselves available to talk with their children, and they should keep a few topics of general interest in the back of their minds to discuss--but they should never be obvious about keeping a list. If parents sit down to dinner with things on their minds so that they're too preoccupied to engage in conversation, then their teens will either remain silent, or introduce whatever topic they want--and that will usually be either the 'shop talk' of school and schoolmates, or the gossip of today's current,

'Who danced with whom, and who's likely to get married.'

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It's much better to use this opportunity to inform teens about current events--who's made an important speech, whose book was just published and what its good and bad points are, political rumors, who's made news with a new work of art and what the characteristics of his style are. A daily newspaper and a good weekly or monthly news magazine will provide plenty of material so that there's something to talk about every day. The father who begins the discussion won't need to worry about having to sustain a monologue; in fact, there's more danger of him doing all the talking because he loves outlining his own opinions. Nothing is more delightful than the give and take of a lively discussion, where the children eagerly toss the ball back and forth. They want to know the details about everything. If the parent remembers something that illustrates the point, then the child will inevitably corner the subject being investigated, wanting to know, 'Is that right or wrong? Good or bad?' All the while, the parents show extreme tact in guiding the children to forming fair and just opinions without telling them what they have to think. Students will be engaged with the past in their schoolwork and in the family readaloud, so any attempt to expose them to something modern and current will be refreshing to them, like a breath of fresh air. It will add some life to whatever they're studying in school.

Aesthetic Culture

In attempting to discuss how to develop aesthetic culture [the beauty sense], I think that giving a list of what's supposed to be tasteful is like writing rules about matters of conscience. It's like dictating to other people what they should be working out and deciding for themselves. Perhaps it's unacceptable to have a large floral pattern on our carpets but acceptable to have such a pattern on our curtains. If that's the case, then, rather than having somebody forbid it, it's better that a person be able to come to that conclusion himself as a result of his own growth and exposure to culture. If we

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decorate our rooms with bulrushes and peacock feathers, or geometric shaped art instead of traditional natural forms, or a sage and terra-cotta color scheme because it's the current fashion, then, no matter how nice the room might look, there's not much taste involved. Taste is the very essence and most delicate expression of individuality in a person who has grown up around lovely, fitting objects and had experience with the habit of discrimination. This helps us to understand what we can and can't do as we attempt to cultivate the beauty sense in youths. As much as possible, let their surroundings be decorated using a principle of natural selection--not haphazard selection, and not with a slavish obedience to fashion. Keep in mind the three or four general principles that work well with all the different aspects of building, decorating, furnishing and embellishing. It's good for children to hear these kinds of things discussed, and to see them applied in real life. Any item ought to be suitable for its purpose, and should harmonize with the people and things around it. After these priorities are considered, the thing should be as beautiful as possible in form, texture and color. And, last of all, remember that it's better to have too few things than too much. A child who is used to seeing a vase disposed of, or a fabric selected using these four guidelines, will develop the ability to discriminate without even being aware of it. He'll sense the discord of color schemes that don't harmonize, choose a pitcher with natural, flowing lines over one that's all geometric angles, and know his own mind enough to know what he likes. It may not be financially or logistically feasible to surround a child with works of high art, but that isn't necessary. What is necessary is that the child not live among ugly, unharmonious things. A blank, empty nothing is always better than the wrong thing. William Morris wrote, 'Nothing can be a work of art if it isn't useful. By useful, I mean that it should minister to the body that's well under the command of the mind, or it should amuse, soothe or elevate a healthy mind. If this rule were followed, then tons and tons of atrocious garbage that pretends to be art of some kind would be thrown out of the homes in our towns.'

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It's a shame that, with music and art, we tend to use compilations and 'Best Of' collections like we do with poetry. Avoid collections. Every painter or composer who's earned a name for himself has a few master ideas in his mind that he works out in his art--not just in a single piece, but a little here, a little there, in a series of studies of those ideas. If we want to treat an artist's work merely like a decorative ornament, then a little of one artist and a little of another is fine. But if we recognize that an artist is a teacher who can have a refining, uplifting effect on our cruder nature, then we'll realize the importance of studying his 'lessons' in sequence as much as we can. A house that has one or two engravings by Turner in one room, a Millet reproduction in another room, and Corot in another would be a real school of art for a child. He'll have the opportunity to study every line from at least three different masters of art. He'll be able to compare their styles, learn their individual characteristics by heart, perceive what they were trying to say through their pictures, and how they use their art to express it. This is a solid foundation for art education. For most of us, art education should consist of awakening the ability to appreciate, rather than the skill to create. Also, children should be familiar with one or two good watercolor landscapes to give them an idea of what to look for when viewing scenery.

But it's not always possible to choose pictures according to this kind of plan. If it's not, it's not a good idea to get a lot of other art to compensate. In fact, it's an advantage to get so intimately familiar with even a single good reproduction that the image left in the mind is almost as clear and distinct as the

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picture itself. The only thing the parents can do is to make sure that the child sees the picture. The refining influence and artistic culture happen independently, with no connection to efforts made from outside the child. The most important thing is not to corrupt the child's taste. It's better to have one single work of art in the house that will help the child's ideas form themselves, than to have the wall covered with mediocre pictures. Youths usually have to wait for an opportunity to visit an art gallery to discover the way a brush can capture the very spirit and meaning of nature, but that's not as bad a disadvantage as it might seem at first glance. Studying real landscapes in nature itself is what should prepare them to appreciate landscapes in art. No one can truly appreciate the moist, solid freshness of the newly plowed soil in Rosa Bonheur's pictures unless they've noticed for themselves what dirt clods look like after they've been turned up by the plow. On the other hand, what about this, by Fra Lippo Lippi?

'Haven't you noticed that we're made so that we love
Things we've passed a hundred times and never paid attention to,
Only after we first see them painted?
That's why they're better painted--at least better for us,
Which is the same thing. That's why art was given to us--
It's God's way of using us to help each other,
Borrowing from each other's minds. Have you ever noticed
Your rascal's hanging face? If you had some chalk to sketch it,
Believe me, you'd never forget it! How much more so is it
When I sketch higher, nobler things!
I'd be acting like a preacher
Interpreting God to all of you!

Whether it's paintings of landscapes or real scenery in nature, the only thing that parents can do is to help their children really see by using a suggestive hint to get them to really look. Seeing is what eyes need if they're going to learn. But they also need deliberate instruction. I don't think it's necessary to mention that John Ruskin's Modern Painters

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is the best book for teaching art appreciation to those who are unfamiliar with it.

If culture can flow in through the eyes with art, imagine how much more that's possible with the ears! Hearing is like a blessed sixth sense, but it doesn't seem to be bestowed on everyone alike. A lot of time, money and effort is spent to give children the skill of performing indifferently on an instrument. Playing an instrument indifferently isn't necessarily a bad thing, but people sometimes forget that listening with an appreciative, discriminating ear is as educational and 'happy-making' as playing an instrument, and appreciative delight is an ability that can probably be developed in anybody if the same effort were spent on appreciation as on playing. Students should hear good music as often as possible, and with educational guidance. It's too bad that we tend to like our music the same way we like our art and poetry--mixed, so that there aren't many opportunities to listen through all of the works of a single composer. This is what we should do for our children. Occasionally, they should study the works of a single great composer until they've caught some of what he had to teach, and are familiar with his style.

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Paraphrased by L. N. Laurio
Please direct any comments or questions to me by emailing me at cmseries-owner at yahoogroups dot com.

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